Kaya?

Assalamualaikum

Satu je aku nak cakap.
Kalau pasal kaya miskin dan wang ringgit (dan "kisah silam tuuu"), jangan buat lawak pasal benda-benda tu dengan aku.
AKU la...dengan orang lain terpulang lah aku tak halang pun.
Tapi dengan AKU, lagi lagi lawak kenkonon tu mengkaitkan aku dengan harta dan status dunia tu, harap maaf, sumpah aku tak boleh bertolak ansur.
Minta maaf sensangat sebab memang seminggu emosi aku akan terganggu kalau "lawak" berkaitan benda benda yang aku sebut tadi dituju kat aku. (tambah tambah kalau tersilap timing. merasa lah)

And I have made it clear, i despise money as goal in life.
Susah nak faham bahawa duit tu bukan keutamaan aku?
Bukan sebab aku kaya (dont go there. lagi teruk aku ngamok nanti!!)
Sebab as far as i respect your battle, dont come and test me with mine. You had no idea how being in my shoes was and obviously i had no idea how in yours were too.
Nak aku cerita dah berapa lama aku tak shopping bebetul untuk diri aku?
Nak aku bukak cerita kenapa aku dah lama tahan diri dari travel jejauh walaupun passport aku masih valid lagi 3 tahun?
Nak kena announce ke saban hari aku perah otak pikir camne nak survive financially in today's crazy world?
Perlu aku war warkan kadang kadang tengah malam aku breakdown lap airmata macam hujan tetiba dan end up memujuk diri sendiri sebab aku kena kuat dan kena berdiri atas kaki sendiri?

TAK.
Sebab aku tau, orang lain pun ada masalah sendiri.
Orang lain pun ada struggle dia.
Orang lain pun ada emosi dia.
Tapi at one point, bila ada yang tak mampu faham common sense sebegitu terhadap aku, i cant help it but breakdown jugak.
But then again, being me, aku akan breakdown sorang diri dan pujuk diri sendiri.

Alhamdulillah, aku memang tak pernah rasa susah dari segi wang sejak kecik.
Bukan sebab keluarga aku kaya atau kerja aku hebat gaji kepuk kepuk.
Tapi sebab priority bukan wang ringgit, dan priority bukan wang ringgit tu bukan sebab senang nak dapat duit...tapi sebab there other things in life yang lebih utama buat aku (and my family in sha Allah)

Kau cuba hadap berita time bomb yang doktor kasi terhadap kakak kau.
Dan kau cuba hadap berita sebegitu berulang kali.
Rasa macam pasir kat tekak.
Tapi aku yakin Allah ada. Dan perancangan Dia adalah yang terbaik.

Aku mohon. Please. PLEASE jangan buat lawak pasal kaya miskin dengan aku.
Sensitif.


Sebabkan harta dunia, ada keluarga berpecah belah.
Sebabkan harta dunia, kawan boleh jadi lawan
Sebabkan harta dunia, AKU diperbodoh.
Ye, sebab aku memang bodoh.
Maka, maafkan lah aku.
Maafkan aku sebab memang susah untuk aku bina balik semangat yang runtuh akibat harta dunia ni.
Dan bila dalam masa beberapa saat je aku dilabel tak peduli harta sebab harta aku ni segunung, memang terima kasih sangat sebab semangat yang bertahun aku kumpul balik tu runtuh balik.

Yang Sedang Breakdown,
Farah Diana

When i grow up...

Assalamualaikum!

This month's theme at school is Occupation. And to top it off, i was a little bit out of track since we were busy with the concert too.
But as time moves, they are getting better at their roles (Alhamdulillah! Teacher is very proud of u!!) Hence, the practice usually completed by 10am and we could go back to learning routine after the break.
So today, teacher Paghah decided to sing "Dear _____, what do u want to be when you grow up?"
*just some random song i made them sing to make all of them tell what is his/her ambition*
One of them decided to become a rockstar.
One decided to become a mermaid 😂
Then suddenly, this girl who decided to become a rockstar changed her mind.
"Teacher! I changed my mind. I dont want to be a rockstar"
"Oh. So what do you want to be then?"
"I want to be a Bride!"

😒
..........

Tatau lah teacher Paghah nak gelak ke nak nangis. Jangan la nk caras cita cita teacher sangat, nak! Hadoi lah sayang.

Yang Gelihati,
Farah Diana

Lesson Learnt?

Assalamualaikum

Today, one of the girls opened her friend's bag to find a toy of her friend's.
Well, they are used to sharing so i dont mind that. But nevertheless, i still had to remind her not to open other people's bag without permission (because i told them many times not to do so).
Then suddenly, another girl interrupted,
"Remember the other day, when ******* took S****'s pony without permission, she had to sit at the corner alone. You do not want to do that, right?" She said to her friend that i was talking to.
So indeed, i realized they also learn from things i made their friends do for their misbehaviour.
So i guess, i have to think of more "cute & beautiful" "punishments" for them as i do not want them to feel terrified, i just want them to know and learn what is good and what is not. After aĺl, they are still in a journey of discovering life, how would they know what is right or wrong if not us; the adults, telling them so, no?  Thus, i do not wish them to learn the hard and painful way like i had to when i am an adult (hahahahha. #deep)
Let the good memories teach them how to live appropriately.

Yang Berkobar tapi macam nak demam,
Farah Diana

Breath in, Breath out.

Assalamualaikum.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home"

Ya Arhamar Rahimin.
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

Wake up, Farah.
Welcome to the real world.
You should've get used to multiple pressure at a time, shouldn't you?

Yang Super Stress (oooooh i really hate to use that S word but that's the only word best describe me at the moment),
Farah Diana.

Sambung belajar?

Assalamualaikum.

Oooh lala. Teacher Paghah's back!
As much as i want to upload photos of me with the little ones, i end up refraining myself from doing so. Entah. Takot kang apa-apa jadi aku jugak yang naya wey! Anak anak orang tuh wey!

So, last few weeks, a new kid was assigned into my class.
Jeng jeng jeng!
A special one indeed.
Handling him makes my heart screaming for some knowledge handling special kids.
They are...well...special! Buat aku rasa nak push harder untuk help them face the real world.

Unfortunately, i have none. I am totally frustrated with myself for not having any skills or knowledge of handling kids, let alone the special ones.

Maybe....

I said MAYBE....it's about time i revise my path ahead?
May Allah ease the journey.

ps: Nak sambung tapi research on WHAT to sambung tak bikin lagi. Lepas tu nk move on into new chapter pun satu hal tuh weh. Cari pasal ke apa aku ni?

Yang Sebenarnya Tengah Ngantok Sebab Penat Practice Concert,
Farah Diana.

Alhamdulillah, give thanks to Allah ^_^

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.

Photo credit to: Fievelski.

Another milestone in life achieved.
errr. Well.... half a step I must say? HAHAHAHA.
Alhamdulillah, the ceremony went well.
Alhamdulillah, the weather was beautiful.
Alhamdulillah, i did not trip! HAHAHAHAHAOKAYTAKLAWAK.

Oh, no darlings, it was not my wedding though.
In sha Allah, soon.
Thank you Allah.
Thank you Mummy Abah.
Thank you adik beradiks.
Thank you aunties & uncles.
Thank you cousins.
Thank you friends.

Okay fine. Baru bertunang kau dah berucap macam dapat award bintang popular. Pui!!

Nevertheless, aku masih tetap nervous setiap kali nak text or nak call dia.
Normal ke atau aku sorang je yang ada habit macam ni?
Macam nak tergolek sensorang kat bilik fikir nak text tanya khabar ke tak, sampai kadang kadang emo. Tapi bila dengar suara dia atau terima text, terus hidup kembali ke bentuk asal like the drama did not just happened?

Ok. Sudah. Simpan sorang-sorang kisah perempuan saiko seperti itu ye cik Paghah.
Mohon kembali menulis perjalanan membentuk future leaders instead, Gittew!

Yang Masih Tetap Nervoustatausampaibila,
Farah Diana.

in a few days

Assalamualaikum.

My oh my. Berapa hari lagi nak cuti sekolah dah weh! Debor pulak debor wehhh...
Debar sebab cuti sekolah?
Kau dah kenapa?

Ok bai.

Yang Sedang Nervous,
Farah Diana

Keep calm, Teacher

Assalamualaikum.

Oh well, i love my job anyways.
And i love the kids too.
To the extend that if i scold any of them, i will end up crying myself.
But then, i just realized i can not tolerate LIES at all.
a BIG NO!!
I have shut down one couple and i could at least try to train the future khalifahs not to instill lying in their personality.
Sayang,
If teacher scold you for stealing or lying, please be informed that it is because i love you so much.
Teacher wants you to be a person of dignity, that holds Allah's orders, and stay away from His prohibition. And i am pretty sure i made clear of that.
Please please please be the human that bring your mummy and daddy to Jannah. In sha Allah!
Amiin.

Yang Sedih Terpaksa Bertukar Menjadi Harimau Jadian Harini,
Farah Diana.

Down down down!

Assalamualaikum darlas!

Oh my dear. been two weeks on medical leave. Down with chicken pox uols!
Ha! Ye, dah tua bangka ni baru sibuk nak kena chicken pox. Sedih betul. Dah la bulan depan ada big event. Aduhai. Harapnya parut parut ni boleh recover by then, in sha Allah!

Last week agak kritikal, all i could do was lie down and sleep all day. Jemu bak hang! Cemuih orang kata! But what to do, seriously tak ada tenaga langsung nak buat apa. To top it of, nak makan pun tak lalu, dan sukar sebab ada gusi bengkak and ulser juga. Hambik, nak sangat diet nak kuruih konon........ dropped 4kgs in a week. T____T . jap. aku tatau nak happy ke nak sedih dah turun berat sbb turun kerana sakit. Aduih. Takpe lah, anggap kick start untuk project130 nanti ecehhh!

Baiklah, minggu depan kena start giatkan latihan utk project130.








Ok. Aku tatau apa motif aku click "New Post" kat blog nih. Satu satunya yang aku rasa sekarang ni adalah aku nak kembali ke sekolah sebab  I MISS MY WISE OWLS SO MUCH!!!! T____T
Kids, be good! Teacher Farah will be back soon, okay! Hugs & Kisses, darlings!!


Yang Rindu Anak Anak,
Farah Diana.

Cantik!

Assalamualaikum.

Oh Alhamdulillah, segala gundah gulana drama hari raya sudah pun kembali tenang.
Eceh!
Eh eh eh! Ada geng 'blogger' zaman super rajin update blog tetiba melempar komen pulak dah. Dasar stalker tegar kau kannnn Adian! (tengok! kan aku dah link kan kau muahahahaha!)

Maka, kena cover line balik melempar bicara kat sini ye sebab ada jugak manusia dok singgah sekali sekala. Uhuk!

Okay.
Few weeks ago, i had a little breakdown which lead me back to reality.
I am not really good teaching kids to read.
It's so hard! I just havent got any clue HOW!
But Alhamdulillah, just recently seniors and bosses had given some guide on how to.
I've met some people who sees preschool teachers like "Blerghh! Ajar budak je!"
Well, It's okay. Maybe i myself had similar thoughts on other professions previously, which is i rarely do because i know everyone has their own battle in their field (except for those cari pasal tabur janji manis lepas tu dok dendiam assume aku jauhkan diri segala puii! TETTT!).
Try having at least 5 kids of the same age with 5 different characters, with unpredictable mood swings. HAHAHA! dont get me wrong, i am really enjoying having them as part of my life, as if they're really my own little angels. I dont mind the sweat, at least, maybe at least, doing this will be my share in the Akhirat, in sha Allah.
I love playing with them.
I love hearing them shout my name; "Teacher Farah!", running after me first thing in the morning when i arrive at school, giving me a hug.
I love it when i leave saying goodbye to them, some will return my greet with "Goodbye teacher Farah! I love you!"
I love teasing them too once in a while >.<
I love playing along during breaks where they pretend to be mommies and babies, baking cookies or pretend to dress up for a trip to Legoland!
Allah, when i receive a text in the morning saying "Salam teacher, XXX will not be going to school today, she/he's down with fever", it breaks my heart. But of course i have to pull myself back together cause the others need me too for that 4 hours at school, dont they? All i can do is to pray for their speedy recovery.
Lately, day by day, when the kids are getting more comfortable with teacher Paghah (Alhamdulillah!), they became more active and creative, where the teacher herself have to keep up with & keep updated with their behavior, not to let them go astray...
Sometimes, they do drive me up the walls! No joke, man! There are days when i felt like second thoughts, but Alhamdulillah, end of the day, i had to, and i love to, or willing to, pull myself back together. After all, they are KIDS, the need us to guide them through, dont they?

Which i always remind myself, whatever work i do, or job i have, or career i am on, i should always set the niat to be LillahiTaala. Let only and ONLY beautiful niat drive you through.
What ever is inside you, can be seen on the first page.
You are beautiful, if you are beautiful at heart.
errr.... which means....................yeah, i am not that beautiful cause maybe i have some grudge or maybe i did not let my guard down, moving on without the thought of reconcile peacefully, Allah, may He open my heart soon cause i STILL cant pull myself back on that. TETTTT again!kbai!

Oh! This morning, at the market, this one girl met this one lady while buying some eggs for her mom.
While waiting for the shopkeeper packing her tray of eggs, this lady came.
They both smiled at each other.
"Cantik!" the lady said.
The girl just nodded with a smile. Maybe she didnt really hear what the lady just said.
The lady smiled back, and asked the shopkeeper for her groceries.
Then she said again,
"Cantik! You manyak cantik! Ayoo... Melayu semua manyak cantik! Saya tak tipu oo! Saya tengok semua Melayu manyak cantik tau! Itu saya punya anak nanti dia balik Malaysia aaaa, saya mau kasi dia kawin sama perempuan Melayu!"
Then only the girl laughed and got what the lady was trying to tell her earlier.
"Eh tak ada lah aunty. You pun cantik lah. Melayu Cina India semua sama saja semua pun cantik maa"
The lady shook her finger and insist that Malay girls are beautiful.
"Saya cakap betui punya la amoi, Saya tengok Melayu semua manyak cantik ooo! Sebab ini dalam cantik, luar pun jadi cantik maa!" the lady said, with her hands showing the heart.
The girl smiled again and nodded , agreeing the lady's opinion.
"Ya la aunty, tapi bukan Melayu saja maa...Semua bangsa pun kalau itu dalam hati cantik, kita boleh tengok maa, automatik luar pun sama cantik juga kan!"and they both just laughed and bid farewell after they were done with their grocery shopping at the market.

True enough, no?
Point is, what is in YOU, makes you YOU.

Yang Sebenarnya Tidak Tahu Apa Point Entry Kali Ini,
Farah Diana.

Menelan Pasir

Assalamualaikum

Selamat Hari Raya semua!
Am enjoying the raya is it what i am told to do so after a month of fasting.

Luaran,
Hanya gelak tawa, senyum sedaya dimaniskan,
Hakikatnya,
Sedang memendam rasa.
Rasa risau
Takut
Sedih pun ada sikit.
Yang mana dikumpul dan disimpul menjadi sakit.
Sudah tak ketahuan kemana haluan nak diadudomba
Tak tahu dimana mahu diluah rasa.
Aku begini, hanya berniat untuk menjadi insan yang Allah redha
Ku tahan diri kerna kita tiada sebarang ikatan
Kalau diturut hati, barangkali hati orang tua tersentuh
Tapi
Aku sampai kini taktahu hati sana
Yang aku tahu hati sini saban hari memujuk diri

Sebarang usaha aku, tidak akan aku biarkan hati sana tahu
Sebab itu ikhtiar aku, mengirimkan sedaya kudrat melalui Sang Pencipta
Kerna aku percaya, Dia Lebih Tahu
Kerna hanya Dia tempat aku bergantung sehingga nyawaku di panggil kembali

Ya Allah,
Apa sekalipun yang mendatang
Aku berharap Kau bantulah aku menjaga hati ini
Kerna aku bukan sang nujum, yang mampu menebak isi hati sana
Aku hanya mampu cuba menjaga hubungan aku dan Kau agar kelak apa pun yang mendatang,
Hati ini tak seremuk kehilangan suatu masa dahulu


Yang Pasrah Menelan Pasir,
Farah Diana

#Projek130

Sedih tengok ini gambar woi, Kasut favorite penuh sentimental ini dirembat penyangak yang pecah kereta mek last year. Tenanglah kau bersama tuan baru, ye darling. Sobs!

Assalamualaikum.
Kan kan kannnnn aku dah bilang, tangan ni gatal click kat "New Post" dikala ketika tengah penuh tasks nak di selesaikan segera. Aduhai.

Baik baik baik!
Janji post ni a very short one.

Dengan ini, cik Paghah mengumumkan beliau baru sahaja berpakat dengan geng gegurls kesayangan melancarkan #Projek130

Apatuuu?!
Nak kembali ke kegigihan setahun dua yang lampau dimana tetiap pagi rajin training untuk 10km.
"Zaman gelap" telah sedikit sebanyak melunturkan perjalanan dalam arena long distance running ini.
Tak mengapalah, biarkan zaman gelap tu kekal sebagai masa silam *nampak tak betapa impak kuat zaman ITU, sampai banyak kali ayat bitter keluar. Trying to move on. Harap maklum. Kepada yang berkenaan, GET LOST!*
Dengan beraninya aku melantik coach si kecik hardcore hahahahha! Matila mek kena buli kaw kaw pasni! AAAA!
In sha Allah, impian nak run 10km without walk-intervals mahu dicapai ketika SCKLM tahun ni.
Ooooooh debor la pulak. 
Taak taaaaak! Aku tak kuat lari. Mental aku pun selalu tak kuat, end up 10km tu banyak lenggang kangkung rather than run sangat.
Menilai balik record2 masa berjinak jinak dengan event running, macam pernah je timing less than 2 hours for 10km. *ni kalau hardcore runners tengok aku bangga habis 2hrs 10km sure kaw kaw digelakkan nya...ye la, 2hrs tu orang boleh habis HALF MARATHON kot!! T____T *

Makanya, akan ku cuba dapatkan balik, or improve rekod personal kepada 1 jam setengah.

Bila target aku masuk Half Marathon??
Unfortunately, cita cita aku hanya sekadar 10km.
Jangan harapkan aku nak ketagih sampai Half Marathon sebab ....ok banyak faktor peribadi.
Tak larat nak list kan kahkahkah.

In Sha Allah. Amiin! ^_^

Yang Sedang Berkobar (dan istiqomah hendaknya),
Farah Diana.

Belajar Mengajar

Assalamualaikum yaw!

Alhamdulillah, just finished a short course last week, and am glad to be given the opportunity to meet lots of mind-like people; people who loves kids.
Even though deep inside i get frustrated when i evaluate myself in teaching those angels for the past five months, however, in a way it lifted me up more to improvise my skills onwards, inshaAllah.

Debar.
As usual,
Memang setiap hari debar bila nak mula sekolah.
Sebab bakal berdepan dengan bakal khalifah di masa depan, calon pemimpin bangsa dan negara, pemangkin masa depan agama dan bangsa.
Sepanjang kursus, aku semakin yakin dengan jalan yang aku dah pilih.
Biarlah orang nak kata apa,
Ye, ada je orang terdiam bila tanya aku kerja apa, tambah tambah kalau depa tau background studies aku.
Well, sorry honey, i appreciate you to respect my decisions as i dont think i ever bothered yours. ^_^

Setiap orang kan ada jalan cerita sendiri, embrace it.
I love doing what i am doing now.
I hope i can be strong enough to be able to stand still in this field, and share with the future kindy teachers how lucky we are to be the chosen ones.

Yes. I had my call since i joined a UPSR camp as an assistant for the key teachers last year.
There was this one boy who seem to struggle with his assignment. But i can feel he was willing to learn, but he seem to be a little taken aback or perhaps he didnt know how to ask or what to ask. I tried talking him into expressing what he wanted, but during that time, i have zero skill on persuading kids maybe. I felt such a big failure on myself for not being able to help that boy.
Since then, i secretly dream to become a teacher.
Towards the end of the year, my cousin called me asking if i want to teach in her new centre, since they are short of teachers, and for a start, i just shadow the principal and pick up the teaching skills then. I agreed. I was excited.
So there i was, and another "call" hit me after a two weeks (or so) teaching those angels.
"Teacher, you're awesome!"
When all i did was just play with them.
Meremang. Nak menitik airmata (tapi haruslah mek control ayu kannn....depan bebudak kena tak boleh nak drama queen sangat hahahaha)

Biarlah,
orang mungkin ada yang menyampah dengan pendirian aku yang nampak macam seasonal.
mungkin ada yang perlekeh jalan aku pilih ini,
tapi aku belajar satu benda, bahawasanya cita cita itu kadang kadang berubah seiring kematangan seseorang manusia.
Cehhh! Matang sangat lah kau tu, Paghah!~ HAHAHAHA
Biarlah.
Yang aku maklum, currently, inilah kebahagiaan aku (ehem. Disamping sokongan beberapa pihak yang dikasihi...hew hew hew).

Yang Sedang Terbang,
Farah Diana.

Bila nak level up cik Paghah?

Assalamualaikum

Sorry people, kemungkinan besar blog ni akan banyak dilambakkan dengan post emosi belaka sehingga lah aku benar benar move on kot.
Tak. Bukan putus cinta.
Serius.
Bukan putus cinta.
Sahabat karib aku akan tahu faktor yang boleh bikin Farah Diana breakdown sangat teruk.

Baiklah.
Walau macamana sekalipun, aku akan cuba singkirkan sikit demi sedikit faktor kakisan itu.
Bermula dengan burn away all related items.
Sebab aku baru sedar, bila masa aku duduk sorang mengemas apa yang patut kat kamar ni (tu dia, dok tak duduk kau guna istilah kamar. bajet klasik uols!), bila terserempak dengan barang atau dokument yang mengkaitkan "faktor" hitam tu, aku akan terduduk dan breakdown. Boleh menangis teruk kadang kadang (be informed, sejak "dibuang" - jangan tanya dibuang siapa or apa, kang aku ngamok serupa ghimau kang! - hati aku memang kering. Minta maaf pada yang berkenaan kalau ada terkena tempias hati kering aku. Untung kalau kau masih dalam radar treatment yang sopan dari aku. sekian! )

In sha Allah, moga episode itu menjadi pelantar yang menjadi pemangkin masa depan yang cemerlang, moga menjadi pencuci dosa kecil yang silam.
Walaupun kadang kadang tangan jari mulut ni lancang sahaja nak jerit segala yang dah terjadi, tapi barangkali Allah masih sayang aku, Dia kunci niat aku tu semua sebagai niat sahaja, supaya aku tak jadi manusia keji di dunia ini barangkali.

Wallahualam. Semua benda terjadi atas hikmah yang tersendiri.
Aku sendiri yang belum bukak mata betul betul lagi. Astaghfirullahalazim.


Yang Sesak Dada,
Farah Diana

Mummy & Abah

Assalamualaikum.

Today, the after the second half for today's session, i seek help from Mdm Principal to help me teach the kids solat. Well, pardon me for not being able to master the skills of teaching solat the  proper way just yet. Sobs.
Memang, kita orang tua ni tahu solat tapi tak semua tahu cara nak ajar anak anak kecil solat.
In sha Allah, teacher Paghah dah belajar sikit sikit how to teach little angels how to solat.

But as i always said, being the kindy teacher, i learned much more than what i give them.
As for today, during the lesson, Mdm Principal cerita sedikit sebanyak tentang solat itself.
And after solat, about doa kepada ibu bapa.
Hati aku tersentuh.

"Kenapa kita kena doakan ibu bapa kita?
Sebab ibu bapa kita dah banyaaaak bersusah payah untuk kita.
Our mummy carried us for NINE months in her tummy, wherever she goes, she brings us along.
When we came into this world as a little baby, we dont know how to walk, how to talk, 
so mummy & daddy took care of us, feed us milk, made sure we are always clean & healthy, play with us, worry about us if we are sick, work everyday to buy us toys & books.
If mummy & daddy are sick, how are they going to work & take care of us?
Thaaat is why, we always have to doa for our mummy & daddy,
Ya Allah, sihatkan ibu dan ayah, panjangkanlah umur mereka, ampunkanlah dosa mereka"

Diam! Aku malas crop gambor ni! Besides that, i miss kak lin's glow. 

Lepas tentang solat, Mdm Principal cerita tentang Nabi Muhammad saw pulak.

Siapa ayah baginda. Siapa ibu baginda.

Peribadi Rasulullah itu yang sayaaaang semua orang walaupun tiada ayah & ibu.

Sekali lagi aku sebak.

"Kasihan Nabi Muhammad, baginda kecil kecil lagi ayah & ibu baginda dah meninggal. Cuba kalau mummy & daddy kita meninggal, sedih tak?"

Sebak tetiba. Teingat mummy abah kat rumah *ehem. dah tak paham paham lagik? ratu drama memang camtu ye dok?*

tapi cara penyampaian Mdm Principal sangat la deep tusuk jantung aku.

Dalam diam, aku rasa amazed on how she narrated the lesson. Ajar solat je, tapi the beauty of the connections yang pada aku selama ni aku tak berapa nampak cara nak reach the kids heart through the lessons.

Balik rumah pula, di kala sedang menatap pc sambung setelkan soalan soalan exam anak anak,

ter tengok pula video rakan share tentang appreciating our parents while they're alive.

DAH! Sapa pulak potong bawang sebelah aku ni? Shuh Shuh!!

Thank u, Mdm Principal for enlightening me.

Thank u mummy & abah, Farah loves the both of you so much!
Even though i always tease mummy in the mornings, even though i always laugh at abah's silly ways of babysitting his grandson, even though i did not practice architecture and do whatever according to my own mood, i always have the both of you in my heart.

May Allah always protect you, Keeps you safe in His blessings. Amiin

Yang Touching,

Farah Diana

Love notes

Assalamualaikum.

Today, the teacher of the other 5-year-old's class came knocking on my door.

"Good morning, teacher Farah! So sorry, but may i bother you for a short while?" - Teacher S.

"Oh good morning, teacher S, well sure, no problem? Anything i can lend my hands for you?" -yours truly.

"There's someone who really wanted to give this note he made for you. He has been wanting to give this to you since yesterday!" -Teacher S.

You see in the picture above on the right corner; the rainbow and he wrote "teacher Farah".

That was his note.

Being a drama queen, of course my heart blooms right away! 

He's the quiet & shy type, i was surprised he remembered me even though i just taught them the warm up dance for the sports day. 

Oh dear, these kids, be it the ones under my supervision or even other teacher's, always have ways to reach this drama queen's heart. How can i not LOVE my job?

Penat? Sumpah memang penat! Kadang kadang macam nak terbalik kepala hotak nak tercabut lutut siku semua sebab jadi macam octopus. Pantang tinggal sekejap anak anak ni, ada je lah seketul dua yang mengekor, tak pun baru dua langkah keluar sekejap nak ambil barang, nanti bunyi la seruan "TEACHER!!!"

But then again, at the end of the day, i find myself smiling, as soon as the kids leave the kindy, i'll start missing their laughter & smiles & stories & all. 

I hope i can do better as days go by. 

I hope these kids will grow into great khalifahs that will lead a better future.

Dear future husband, wherever you are, please let me continue this mission of mine;

helping the little angels on their first steps into becoming the bright future leaders. 

ps: tetiba pulok kau dear future husbeng bagai kannn! cheyyyy!

ye la.... kang kot bakal laki mek duduk luar kawasan jajahan mek ni ha, tak ke jenuh mek nak re-adjust career mek yang baru nak menapak ni ha? 

kahkahkah.

Yang Mudah Terhibur,

Farah Diana.

Love me like you do

Assalamualaikum

Gituuuh! Tajuk nak bubuh lagu hit terkini kan kononnya.
Kalau ada tercampak kesini gara gara nak mencari lirik lagu tersebut, mek mohon maaf sesiap k.
Mwahahaha!

Tapi aku memang suka lagu tu.
Err... ada tapi lagi...kadang kadang fobia dengan lagu tu sebab hari tu aku melayan lagu tu macam nak rak (ye Bo, kau tahu kan aku suka melalak tak tentu pasal especially bila dok sorang kat bilik buat kerja drawings/update accounts). Al kisah, melalak sepenuh hati, feeling habis. Habis lagu, break skejap bagi laluan untuk Azan la pulak lepas tu.
Nak jadi drama kan, lepas azan, nak keluar suara dah tak boleh! Suara dah hilang langsung!! T___T
Dah satu hal pulak, dekat dekat nak sports day budak budak, hilang suara kannn! Jenuh jugak nak meligan anak anak time suara tak ada macam tu!
Dari situ lah, asal dengar lagu tu, tergedik jugak nak melalak seperti biasa (ehem. perasan suara merdu lah katakan. Padahal.......... ), tapi sure part chorus akan ada time time terbantut nak teruskan lontaran suara sebab takot suara hilang macam itu hari. Kahkahkah. Itu macam pun boleh jadi cerita kan kau Paghahhh!

Sudah! Nampak sangat update kali ni tak bermotif yang berguna sangat, ilmiah apatah lagi.
Sindrom excited nak berhujung minggu la katakan, pulak tu first time sambut Teacher's Day sebagai teacher tak berapa bertauliah ni, boss pun murah hati belanja cecuti Malaysia, ha inilah hasilnya!


To all teachers kiri kanan atas bawah depan belakang,
Happy Teacher's Day!
To my teachers throughout my life, thank you from the very bottom of my heart, for your hardwork & love & care in my journey of who i am now and then and tomorrow.
May Allah bless all of you always, Amiin!

Yang Tak Sabar Nak Short Vacay Tapi Malas Packing,
Farah Diana.

Susah Menyusahkan

Assalamualaikum.

Ok quick one sebab mek banyak benor kerja nya.
Hah ye, cikgu tadika keje apa sangat after school ye dok?
Demi menabung sesuap KFC, cikgu tadika ni bukan semata mata mengajar anak anak lima tahun je ye Bobo, harap maklum.


5 years ago, aku pernah keluar statement ini pada sahabat karib aku:
"Kalau bukan sesama kawan, siapa lagi yang nak sama sama susah menyusahkan?"
True?
Ada yang sependapat dengan aku? Angkat tangan lekas!
After five years, many things happened, aku fikir aku patut highlight quote itu dengan lebih jelas.
Susah menyusahkan.
Yang aku maksudkan, sama sama. Sama jugak la erti dengan peribahasa berat sama dipikul ringan sama dijinjing.
Tapi kalau dah terus terusan menyusahkan, lepas tu time kita susah....krik krik!
Maaf, kalau kau kenal aku luar dalam, benar benar kenal aku, kau akan tahu aku bukan jenis berkira. Aku tak kisah bersusah kalau dah sayang (hamboi Jijah, asal aku sebut sayang kau pikir pakwe je ye Jijah! Sayang dalam erti tak kira la kawan ke family ke jiran ke).
Semampu mana aku boleh tolong, aku hulurkan. Tak mampu fizikal, aku support secara mental (hew hew hew.... saiko is my middle name kengkadang uols!)

Tapi.............
Mummy pernah bilang, buat baik berpada pada, Farah.


Sebak.
Kalau aku cerita, short-circuit karang keyboard aku ni.

Aku tahu, no one reads this blog anymore. Sebab tu aku berani lempar cerita disini.
Sebab aku ambil masa lama nak move on.
Aku sedih.
Ye, sedikit sebanyak, life tahun ni makin banyak buat aku makin mara ke depan.
Tapi kadang kadang time rehat seorang diri, kisah lama suka nak buat montaj dalam kepala hotak aku.

Kalau boleh delete part ada mereka itu, aku delete dah.
Tapi aku tahu, Allah uji setaraf dengan kemampuan kita.
Maafkan aku, sebab kadang kadang airmata ni tak tahan tumpah jugak.
Sebab aku seorang yang treasure sahabat sahabat aku sedalam nya.
Walaupun aku diam tak bertegur sapa sangat, tapi kalau ada jodoh bertemu, aku lompat bintang dalam hati. Kalau dapat tahu kawan susah hati, aku lah orang yang kalut emosi.

Sedih.
Bilamana niat baik kita akhirnya bagai mengalir dalam longkang.
Dituduh mengelak, langsung kita yang dilihat sebagai watak antagonis.
Bagaikan kita yang tiada usaha menjaga silaturrahim yang terbina.
Bilamana kita bagai terbang dilangit berkongsi cerita indah mereka, tapi tidak pernah sekali ditanya impian kita yang buat kita gembira.
Tak. Tak pernah.
Bagi kau, impian aku adalah kegembiraan kau. Benar.
Tapi, bukan itu sahaja, sahabat.
Seperti kau, impian aku juga banyak.
Maafkan aku, aku tak mampu nak terus tampung sendiri hati ini, sedangkan kau juga tak rasa nak tampung hati aku yang macam kaca ni kan?

Selain sedih,
perlu tak aku bilang aku marah?
Sebab ratu drama selalunya aku, tapi bila kau main kata dengan skrip drama swasta kau, aku jadi tawar.
Jangan sebut tentang persahabatan kalau kau sendiri tak ada usaha nak perbaik keadaan.
Diam sediam diam nya.
Sudah, kau jangan nak kata aku / kami pun tak ada usaha sebegitu.
Kisah nya, kau yang diam. And you play the guessing game yourselves.
Kami ada ajak bertembung mata, tapi kau DIAM.
Dan sekarang, kau jangan berani bersuara di telinga aku dah. Sebab aku dah DIAM jugak.
Guard up, no way i'm gonna let it down anymore.
Aku tak bangga bergaduh, tapi ye, aku pernah berselisih besar dengan sahabat karib aku.
Tapi yang membezakan dia & aku dengan kau adalah kami cari jalan bersuara.
Kalau kau pilih untuk diam dan make assumptions, be my guest. I choose to play that game, mute for good.

Sekian.

Yang Tak Kuasa Dah Nak Bagi Muka,
Farah Diana.

Sports Day; Beach Blast 2015!

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah, the sports day went super well yesterday!~ Yeayyy!
Maka, hari ni kita cuti uols! *icon lompat bintang. err...ada eh icon tu??*

After weeks of practicing the balancing, the sliding, the jumping dancing whatsoever,
finally on 10th of May 2015, the real day arrived.
Nervous tak payah cakap lah, first time kot sports day as a kindy teacher. ketaq lutut pulak dah dok handle props (ye Bo, cik Paghah ditugaskan dalam team yang handle the equipments. memang tak payah berangan la nak memutih recover dari pasca Perhentian itu hari. pfft!) Ke hulu ke hilir set up items, with the heat some more, pergh!

BUT!
Kepenatan tu semua sangat berbaloi!
Tengok muka anak anak semua happy and enjoying themselves, doing the best they could....precious. sangat. precious! Tambah pulak team of teachers and bosses yang semua sempoi, Masha Allah, besarnya nikmat yang Allah bagi kat aku! *icon nangis bawah tangga*
I love dancing with the kids.
I love to hear them laugh.
I love it when they come to me asking how to write or do their work.
On top of the sports day, the kindy arranged a surprise event for the kids' moms, well, mother's day kan! The kids made a card for their mom days before the event and present it with a flower to their moms after we finished all the sports items.
Ye.
Bobo, kau tak lupa kan betapa cik Paghah ni seorang ratu emosi? Masih ingat kan tahap drama cik Paghah kaaaan?!
Ye.
Terharu tengok my kids giving out their cards & flowers to their moms. Airmata hujung mata je alahai.
Ooooh. Tapi kena tahan oh! Kantoi drama queen pulak kalau dok merambu time tu wehhh!
>.<
Hahahaha!

Syukur Alhamdulillah, cuaca pun baik, parents pun sporting belaka.
Next event to look forward to: CONCERT!!!!
Yeeeeha!


Sekian,
Yang Selalu Emosi,
Farah Diana.

Mungkir Janji kah?

Assalamualaikum.

My oh my.
Bila lawan perasaan hati dan emosi ni, jangan duduk depan pc bersambung internet weh.
Tak pasal pasal tangan gatal klik website airlines.
Dan tak mustahil juga tangan bagai dirasuk menekan pembelian tiket ke destinasi sesedap oren tanpa mengira masa.
Tiket pergi je pulak tu, al maklum, tak berapa nak berduit sangat kan buat masa ini.
Ayo! Rasukan apakah ini???
Sempat ke nak kumpul dana melaksanakan misi ni? Walaupun jarak destinasi dan rumah tidaklah merentas lautan hindi sekalipun, tetap perlu ada perancangan ekonomi dan perjalanan. Tak ada rancangan perjalanan sekalipun, yang part fulus tu kena tiptop lah ye dok?

Dear oh dear.
Itulah, jangan diikut sangat perasaan hati tuh weh! Aduhai.......

Sekian.
Yang Berjiwa Kacau,
Farah Diana.

Perhentian Mei 2015

Ada orang baca ke weh?
Nak menulis detail tapi mengantuk tak sudah.

Apa pun, puas hati tapi ada something tak complete lagi
Hew hew hew. Sebab ada misi aku tak terlaksana gara-gara aku sendiri tak reti execute plan B bila ada reschedule of program. Sedih betul kau ni, Paghah!

Whatever it is,
Thank you Allah!
Like He Said,
Setiap kesusahan itu didatangkan dengan kemudahan.
If we dont meet the wrong people, we might not stumble upon the great right ones.
If we dont trip, we might not appreciate what leisure is.
If we dont go through the darkness, we might not treasure the beauty of light.
If we dont shiver throughout the cold, we might not be grateful for the warmth of the heat.

Alhamdulillah, Allah temukan lagi dengan manusia yang hebat hebat.
Yang penuh sopan menghargai susah senang dan memudahkan perjalanan.

Eh. Kau bukan bilang kau mengantuk tadi ka, cik Paghah?

FINE!

Ok, sebelum log off,
ingat beberapa pesanan ini:

1. Jangan buat kerja putar alam dalam mencari rezeki, dik. Allah Murka. Tak tenang hidup kau nanti. Akak doa moga perjalanan kau diberkati, dik, dengan syarat adik kembali ke jalan yang Allah redha, ye dik?
2. Bersabar dalam segala hal. Dan bersangka baik dengan percaturan Allah. Dia lebih tahu mekanisma alam dan manusia.
3. Berani kerana benar. Fight for your right.
4. Setiap detik kita, Allah uji. Itu tanda Dia sayangkan kita. Treasure every hardship because sweet candy will wait at the finishing line.
5. Setiap perbuatan kita, tak di dunia, di akhirat kita dapat bahagian. Baik ataupun buruk, janji Allah itu Pasti!

Sekian.
Yang Kadang kadang Blur,
Farah Diana.

Wishlist review

Assalamualaikum BoBo! 

Dalam dok research info, tetiba tersinggah blog sendiri. Saja la scroll back previous posts, mengimbau kenangan dan mengimbau kenapa dan bagaimana aku blog dulukala.
Tetiba jugalah terjumpa wishlist yang di buat around 4 years back.

Apa kata, aku review balik wishlist ni? Then bolehlah update wishlist baru mwehehehehe!

1. Rollerskate (checked. And superb past time! Suka, sbb berpeluh sakan in style! Haha)  
yang ni takyoh la review ye dok? fully accomplished dah pun yeeeha!

2. Snorkeling
remember kisah sedih mabul freak out time snorkel ditambah sakit kuku nak tercabut itu? 
FINE! gonna tick this out of the list this weekend. Pulauuuuuuuu here i come!! 

3. Diving. 
Partly checked. Sebab sekadar Discovery Scuba Diving sejam dua sahaja. Sebenarnya aku sedikit takut kepada dasar air walaupun aku sangat suka berenang dan main air dan simbah air kat orang dan goyang pokok lepas hujan supaya orang sebelah kena tempias dan...fine, enough farah enough!
Alang alang last month ada event dari JPAM, kasi cuba DSD for free, aku pun cuba lah test power aku ni sebenarnya berani dak selam. Yeahhhhhu! Love it! Ada rezeki kalau, boleh amik license, In sha Allah. Ku bilang KALAU ye.

4. White water rafting 
Checked! With flying colors! SUKAAAAAAAA!! *refer here*

5. Explore gua (checked. Wang burmah time matriks dulu) 
Double checked! Sekaligus dengan white water rafting! *insert icon drooling sambil mata love love*

6. ATV. 
Checked secara sipu sipu. Sebab sekadar simple track kat Sunway Lagoon je. Kena find time & $$$ untuk try versi terjah hutan sampai ke kawasan Waterfall ni. lalalala

7. Roadtrip. Preferably on cruiser motorbike or superbike. (Tapi tak pernah reti pun bawak motor, apatah lagi yang ber cc tinggi itu) 
errr..... checked tapi not on bike seperti yang diidamkan. Roadtrip naik van dan kereta. Jadiiiii lahhhh....

8. Cruise. 
dengar dengar sekarang siap ada yang muslim cruise package kan? huyeayy! 

9. Build a family house. One should be enough. (Ada peluang, doa lah semoga diri ini kuat dan masih berkeupayaan dalam merekabentuk sebuah bangunan) 
design dah pernah ada. tapi Abah tak pernah approve lagi hahaha. oh well! Selagi hayat dikandung badan....

10. Mendirikan rumahtangga. 
err...errr...er...........

Ok sekian.
Nak bersiap menjemput abah di airport ni.
NO! Jangan tanya lagi point no sepuluh tu. no no no! Ada rezeki & jodoh, in sha Allah mek kabarkan ye hehehehehehe

Yang tengah rushing nak ke airport,
Farah Diana.

Janji?

Assalamualaikum.
Went for a simple hiking at Gasing Hill today. A very fast one due to some miscommunication. But, nevermind, it was one good one though since we get to experience the route we havent gone through before this.
It was quite a long time ago since the last time I've been there though, thus cant really recognise the track anymore hahahahahampeh!!

I guess, this is the only remedy i can get for the time being.

Randomly speaking, i sometimes would take some silly vow to myself to prove myself so and so.
For example, i once vowed not to take any artificial sugar ever again in my diet plan, health reasons, or so i said. Yes, i managed to keep it for quite some time. and did t know since when i started adding back those sugar in my drinks. haha
Oh. there's another one where i made myself 'invisible' from the online presence for a few days just because i was shutting down for God knows what. Well i succeeded then, sebab berapa hari je 'puasa online' tuh hahaha.

And just recently, i promised myself something again. I guess i could say one huge one because it involves my  passion in my life; travel & outdoor.
I promised to finish off my remaining travel & outdoor activity plans, and no more plans afterwards, to give way for another huge plan (which i shall remain low on that for the time being).
Yeah, i dont know whether i could call myself frequent traveller or not, since i have only been to just a few places to date.
But.....
could i really stick to this?
for how long can i really pull these?
surrounded by people who loooove travelling to has already burn my heart, with those invites of camping trips, hiking trips, etc. I feel like my heart is about to explode just any second!!

Saya mahu pergi ke hutan sedalam dalam hutan itu untuk mencari secebis harapan.
Saya terlalu ingin menggulung kain baju sumbat dalam beg dan menapak merujuk peta mencari arah tujuan.
Saya mahu tersangat perasaan teruja menunggu saat si kapal besi atau si lipan beroda itu berlepas merentas benua atau desa.
Mahu semahunya.
Masih bolehkah saya teruskan kemahuan keinginan itu sedangkan bagai ada pagar menahan jalan itu masih menunggu kuncinya dilerai?

Wallahualam. Moga Allah bantu pilih jalan yg bakal bikin semua hati terlindung dari fitnah dunia. Amiin.

Yang Menahan Kepecahan Hati,
Farah Diana.

Bertabahlah!

Salam.

Nak menulis.

Dan ye, mood menulis suka datang di kala ketika sedang gigih nak menghadap drawing atau lain lain tugasan khas yang memerlukan perhatian yang teliti.

By the time selesai tugas, mood blogging dah lesap atau idea dah melayang.

FINE!

last last aku golek cam panda ni......... T_T

Sekian.

Yang Benar benar ting tong,

Farah Diana.

What time is it?

Assalamualaikum people

Wahlauuu.... propa sangat nak frequently update kann.
Percayalah, niat itu selalu ada, tetapi masa itu yang sering mencemburui kita, Bo.

Seperti yang aku bilang sebelum ini.
err...kalau macam rasa tak pernah aku sebut before this, kau pura pura je lah mengaku aku pernah sebut, penat ni woi!
Teaching these little angels has taught me much more than what i thought i have taught them.

They taught me true meaning & reward of being patient.
They taught me that every single thing really happens for a reason.
They taught me the true meaning of "thank you".
And the list goes.
Barangkali, sampai tahun depan belum tentu aku habis list kan semua pengajaran daripada pengalaman mengajar anak anak kecil itu. Walaupun baru nak menjangkau empat bulan aku bergelar teacher Paghah, masih banyak yang aku bikin aku terkial kial nak handle depa. Tapi yang nyata, depa lagi banyak mengajar aku about things in life, indirectly.

Okay. nak jadi cerita, anak anak aku ni bergabung dengan kelas lain sama umur untuk acara sukan; marching, dance/aerobic & sukaneka.
Agak tough jugak buat aku yang memang takde pengalaman langsung mengajar ni, apatah lagi menari macam kayu ni, nak mengajar kanak kanak menari.
Aku? Menari??
Dapat pulak anak anak pelbagai ragam kreatif dorang. Betul weh, dorang ni semua stok otak geliga, dan kuat berangan pun ye.
Kadang kadang aku kena pura2 bercakap dengan tiang lampu atau pokok untuk grab attention dorang. Class teacher the other class yg pengalaman berapa puluh tahun pun naik pening nak layan kekreatifan & keaktifan depa ni hahaha.
But of course, as a teacher, sabar tu kena letak paling depan. Pesanan mummy aku pegang kuat
"Level tadika, level anak2 yang kena banyak sabar, and be polite but firm, bukan garang. Kalau buat garang, sangat not healthy for their mental development"
Walaupun kadang2 teacher Paghah bertempik macam petir, tapi aku ngaku, tak mampu nak jadi garang sangat. (kalau marah budak, nanti lepas tu aku yang panik nk pujuk balik. pui!)
So we keep on practicing....err...well, teka la sapa yang kena paling beria melompat menari tetengah panas tu (kids practice under the shades okeh, teacher yang terpaksa berterik supaya nampak all the kids punya movements).
Well, i did some reading on how to grab their attention (thus the reason i talked to a tree the other day), and how to make them get what we taught them.
Keyword are: sabar. repeat. & puji.
For things they did correctly, tell them they did well.
A word as simple as "Good!" with a smile can really uplift their spirit and make them more eager to do better.
Alhamdulillah, as for today, after about three weeks practicing (dengan choreograph baru bebetul setel last Friday mwahaha), they did it very well!
Most importantly, they did well AND enjoyed it too! Syukuuuuur Alhamdulillah!
Cause i asked my class
"Children, thank you for today, im proud of you! You did very well! Was that fun?"
and i got a very loud YES from all of them!
^.^
Some time, do some high five with them, THEY LOVE it!!

Surprisingly, a girl (from the other class) came to me today after school, while waiting for her ride home.
"Thank you teacher!"
I was shocked. "Thank you for what, my dear?"
"For such a nice dance, teacher!"
"Is that so? Well, you're welcome, my dear! Thanks to you too, coz u did very well just now, didn't you?"
"i love it, teacher!"

Awww... sweet girl!
Walaupun time practice, she looked like she was somewhere else once in a while, but hey! She really did a good one, though.
Everyone did! yeayy!

In short, that is how i tackle kids.
Puji when they did good.
If they did wrong, sabar, jangan marah but correct them instead.
And smile. All the time.
If u teach them dancing, YOU dance together and show them how to enjoy the dance.

Baiklah. Teacher Paghah rasa nak tercabut kaki hari ni, i should get some rest now.
Walaupun hakikatnya menulis blog bukan la pakai kaki pun kan, tapi ....eh perlu pulak aku nak justify kan. Harusss!

Okay dear people, till then!
Toodles!

Stand tall, dont look back

Assalamualaikum love!
Gituh! Fefeeling British sangat nak berLove sangat kan! :P

Okay. I guess i have to start practice writing to resurface this blog.
As a platform to brush up writing skills (yang sumpah tak seberapa tu!) & try to build up content-arranging-skill or whatever they call it.
I may not be equipped with those jargons or bombastic skill in business or marketing whatnot, but i got to start somewhere, dont i?
Ohoy! This implies to whatever living skill exist. Yours truly is obviously trying to coupe with as much as she could grab to survive today's world *q muzik tragis berkumandang sambil lap hingus*

With or without readers, i'll just throw my humble words here to keep myself regularly writing & learning. After all, i promised the kids to work hard in helping them shape tomorrow's world, didnt i? ^_^

So, Bobo, help me here okay!
Please sabar with yours truly as she most likely tend to be wonky here trying to get things together.
Life's a neverending puzzle that needs us to ensemble the pieces together bit by bit. Gather the cute pieces and toss away those torn parts. and complete the puzzle with a happy heart
*ha kau! start bermadah omputeh dah cik Paghah kita*
so till then,
this is me, signing off to sign back in real soon!
Toodles, love!

Yours truly.

You're Awesome!

Assalamualaikum!

Struggle.
Every single day i had these butterflies in my tummy. Wondering will i be able to teach those little khalifahs?
Whether they get bored of my presentations?
Whether they look forward to learn new things at school every day?
Or whether this teacher is teaching things they already know well?

Yesterday, a girl from the class came to me when i was busy giving works to her friends.
"Teacher Farah..."
"Yes, Alveena?"
"Teacher, you're awesome!"
Terkedu sekejap. I thought i heard it wrong.
"Come again, sayang? What was it?"
"You're awesome, teacher Farah!"

Masha Allah, oh anak!
Setahu aku, nama je ada degree, tapi aku tak pernah tahu macam mana nak kenalkan dunia dan isi kandungannya kepada makhluk kecil yang suci, yang full of curiosity , like i was back then.
I know ABC, 123 & Alif Ba Ta, but how do i teach them to know those too?
Clueless. Jujurnya, this teacher memang agak blank.

But just with that simple words by a dear student, i felt like i really have to work harder for them.
Because the impact was just....speechless. Rasa nak terbang, rasa ringan dalam pada masa sama, rasa masih tak cukup effort dicurahkan untuk anak anak itu, puuuun mereka dah rasa awesome sangat.
Walaupun hakikatnya aku sedar, this teacher is very lacking of lots of things. still. Masih banyak yang teacher had to install inside otak teacher ni because this teacher was trained to design & build buildings but she refused to put her heart into it (or maybe she was too scared to handle it).
This teacher was lost in her path somehow.
But Alhamdulillah, Allah masih sayang agaknya. Diberi Nya cabaran baru.
It is as tough as other jobs i have done, sometimes i feel like it's even tougher.
But at the end of the day, ada satu rasa yang aku sendiri tak tahu nak khabarkan macam mana.

Tak. Aku tak rasa aku layak lagi terima "awesome!" dari sesiapa.
Mungkin takkan pernah.
Mungkin anak itu masih naif untuk menilai manusia yang lainnya,
But one thing for sure, i will try my best to deliver amanah baru ini.
Because we never know, how long we could hold on things in this world.
Ada mungkin aku tak bisa habiskan setahun penuh bersama anak anak itu.
Mungkin jugakah satu hari aku rasa lemau melayan kerenah mereka (so far, penat macam mana pun aku rasa hati aku all the time tenang melayan mereka. Alhamdulillah)?
Whatever it is, thank you Allah for giving me this opportunity. And thanks little angels, for teaching me the true meaning of life.
One day, you'll grow up into one fine lady & guy, maybe that day you might not remember who i was, but that's okay my dear sayangs. Even the thought of all of you that's going to shape the nation & ummah itself have made me very grateful. May Allah always protect all of you, in this world and the Hereafter. Amiin.

Learning to teach, teaching to learn

Assalamualaikum.

Ha. Dari dulu sampai sekarang, kau memang pegang kemas title ratu emosi tu kan?
Semalam, duduk sembang dengan Principal (oh. I've been keeping this low for about two months already, but hey, I am enjoying life now. So, here goes; am a kindy teacher now. Looking forward to be a good one though. Huuu. Masih rasa tak layak di panggil teacher lagi for now.)

"Farah, how are you feeling working here for almost two months already, Farah?" - P
"I am at some sort of peace, Teacher M*!" - F
"Really? Peace?" (looking sort of confused, add on background jeritan bebudak panggil Teacher Paghah masuk kelas balik -.-) -P
"Yes, Teacher M! Been struggling these few years, but i found peace even though i still struggle getting these kids' attention at class" - F
(Muka terkejut lagi) "Tell me about it!" - P
.....nak sembang lagi luah perasaan terbuku kononnya. Tapi seorang Wise Owls dah sampai ke pintu dan melalak: "Teacher Farah!! They dont want to share the colors!!"
Fine kids. Fine. Saja kan hangpa tak mau kasik chance teacher layan emosi sat! Its okay, sayangs, its okay, for all of you, teacher simpan emo tuh balik store and will be with you all the time, in sha Allah.

Penat? Oh memang! Dengan nak mengejar one special kid yang hyper (but Subahanallah, sangat bright, sangat cute toksah cakap lah) yang all over the school yang kadang kadang memang test patience to the top level and the other 10 (total kids in my class are 11), physically & mentally penat woi!
TAPI.
In the end of the day, ada satu kepuasan yang tak pernah aku dapat selama ni.
Like what i told the Principal, ketenangan.

Okay. I need to pen off now.
Online nak cari bahan kononnya, tapi sebab ...ehem... biasa lah, bila emosi beraksi gittew.... terdampar lah mek disini seketika.
In sha Allah, akan throw more words here in the future sharing my experience and journey.

p/s: Emo mode konon. sekali dapat satu call je, terus cair. okbai.

I.Wish.

Assalamualaikum.

Hello peeps! Oh well, the travelogue on India seem to be way out of date already, i think.
I shall remain it in the past, shall i? Malas dah mek nak recall the details. Maybe some of the days i'll throwback some doodles i made during the trip, no?

How is life treating you, dear love?
Having lots in mind is no joke, Bobo!
Be it happy thoughts, combined with those of heart-racing, heart-breaking seconds, they sure messing up the space. *haihh*

Whatever it is, i do hope i could hold on to what is dear to me.
Those painful past can now make their way into the black hole.
I'm giving & saving more space for new memories & experience.
Even though there are a few things more painful might surface, i'll leave that to Him as He Knows better.

I wish, that the future is brighter than yesterday.
I wish, that the storm will end with a rainbow.
I wish, that the rain will wash the pain away.
I wish, that there's no more sorrow.
I wish, that their smile and their worries fade away.
I wish, that her pain will subside and she is back into the way she used to be.
I wish, that all good things in the world, will be cherished by every single human alive.
I wish, there will never be pain in this world, just flowers & candy clouds!
In sha Allah. Amiin.

Fobia!

Assalamualaikum peeps!

Well. Have you ever faced any event that pulled you deep down that you hardly pull yourself back up?
Where the impact was you cant even see the shadow of anything related to the said event?
You've tried hard enough to move on, let it all go, let it be bygone, but even a mere presence of the said event can ruin your day just like that, have you?
You're the type not holding grudge for long, but you seemed so different this time around?
To the extend that you cant even come across even a slight view of it?

But then again, you gotta go through the storm to catch that rainbow, dont you think so?

Sorry dear, you've just been disconnected.
If i shut off, dont bother peeking,
Save your time with not even try to say hi cause what you will get is just a blank stare.
Let the beautiful moments be in the past, those painful encounters be washed away through time, as long as you stay out of my sight, because i'd rather cherish the previous precious moments from afar.
Thanks for the past, i'll just let go of the pain, in sha Allah.
But dont ever appear again, i beg, just so that the good memories can remain on the surface.

Regards,
Ratu Emosi >.<

Kisah Jalanan India - Day 5: Agra

Assalamualaikum Bobo! Rindu cik Paghah dak? 

Memandangkan memang setahun dah peram travelogue dalam otak semata-mata, maka memori sudah semakin karat. 

Tapi! Untung Catatan daerah seterusnya selepas Varanasi sangat kemas dalam ingatan, barangkali sebab Taj Mahal is one of my wishlist. 

Dalam episod kisah Jalanan India aku yang lepas, perjalanan dari Kolkata ke Varanasi kan ku bilang lama.

Or. So. I. Thought! T_T

Selepas salam perpisahan dengan Avi di train station Varanasi (Thanks Avi. you are such a great host, darling!), kami meneruskan perjuangan ke daerah seterusnya, Agra. 

Mulanya, kami nak bermalam di Agra dan gerak ke Jaipur the next day. Tapi atas saranan sahabat online, rata rata kata di Agra hanya ada Taj Mahal je pun, rugi je duduk bermalam situ sebab not really much to see there, maka kami beli tiket dari Agra ke Jaipur petang tu jugak.

Jeng jeng jeng. Nak jadi cerita laju sikit, train ke Agra tuh punyaaaaaaa lah lama, lagi lama dari yang ku sangkakan api itu kelip kelip. eh. yang mek konon rasa Kolkata-Varanasi dah cukup kematu, Varanasi-Agra lebih lagi keras kami. 18 jam hambek kau!! Sampaikan lari dah schedule kami. 

Silap haribulan jugak kami atur perjalanan singgah di Taj Mahal di hujung minggu, memang manusia macam semut!! Stress mek okeh!

Dek kerna kekangan masa, langkah diatur secara amat laju. 

Beli tiket (nasib baik tourist, walaupun tiket sangat lah terlebih mahal, tapi tak perlu queue sepanjang alam itu!) dan bergegas masuk. Dan nak masuk tu, ada security check, siap ada scanner tuh ok! Ada pulak bahan tak diizinkan dalam beg mek dan Ar. Time ni rasa nak bukak silat je sebab dah sah sah masa terhad, dah tak pasal pasal kena cari locker pulak. Guess what, the locker was about a few BLOCKS away!! *muzik sedih berkumandang*

Nak tak nak, kami pun BERLARI ke untuk simpan barang-barang berkenaan. Terbazir sedikit masa disitu. 

Sudah mek bilang, manusia kan ramai di Taj Mahal di hari kami disitu, maka, nak dapatkan shot yang best pun agak nasib lah juga. Dengan team kami terpisah sat sebab ada yg kelam kabut cari toilet, yang kelam kabut ligan pi simpan bag nya, dan sebab waktu dah agak suntuk, kami masing masing posing secara individu or sekerat sekerat. 

Ha! Nak masuk ke dalam kawasan makam tu, sila lah sarungkan kasut korang dengan sarung putih yang dah diberi tu. One thing i like about their building there (tak kira la makam ke kuil ke ghat ke), mereka ni amat control kebersihan, walaupun hakikatnya di luar di jalanan segala sampah dan debu sangat bersepah tanpa mengira masa dan usia. Eh?

Selesai melawat mentawaf mengkagum menyanyi menggolek lagu Hindustan keliling Taj Mahal ni, yang tak la lama mana sangat tu dek kerana nak mengejar train ke Jaipur pula, kami pun bergegas kembali ke station. Tapi harus on the way kami singgah cari souvenir. Pada pendapat jujur aku, souvenir kat Agra ni macam erm....... maybe sebab dah congested with tourist punya label bagai, maka harga pun hmmm. Dan kualiti pun ala kadar je. Unless kau nak mencari yg replika Taj Mahal, itu wajar kau cari disini. But please pandai-pandai la nilai dan belek dahulu okay, kang diketuk tak pasal kau saman aku, memang mek tak layan. EH lagi? As usual, di India, kat ceruk mana sekalipun, sila tawar kaw kaw, tapi hagak-hagak la, jangan la sampai menganiaya depa na, itu periuk nasik depa. 

Nampak tak aku dah habis idea nak tulis apa tentang Day 5 ni? 

Ye.

Mek ulang, memang singkat sangat duration kitorang di Agra ni. Touch N Go katanya.

Maka, See uols at Day 6 di Jaipur ok uols! ^_^

Till then! ^^