Friday, October 27, 2017

Ratu Emosi


Assalamualaikum.
This photo was taken at Perhentian Island.
Uuuui! Random sangat kau kan Paghah?
Entahlah. Dah hujung-hujung tunggu masa si kecik ni meluncur keluar, makin nostalgic & emosi pulak. Tettt! pigidahhh! Kau memang ratu emosi kot, Paghah! kahkahkah!
Every little things people do surely akan lekat...cuma secara facade hakak buat muka kering jek.
Contoh time-time entah mana mulut tetiba sebut nak makan anything specific seperti burger ke, softserve cheesecake FamilyMart-yang-cari-gadoh-sedap-menyampah-aku-nak-lagi-dan-lagi or takoyaki Aeon yg mamat tu buat kerek ngan laki aku pastu kena balik ah dengan laki aku bila dia tersilap buat order tu, AND especially nasi goreng cili api, Encik Husband akan try his best to fulfill. Kadang tu siap bangun tidur dah terus tanya "Sayang ada rasa nak makan apa-apa tak harini?" Isteri mana tak cair oi?
Alhamdulillah, bukan encik Husband je, kakak ku and mummy pun sama.... Mummy lagi power, baru terfikir tak sebut lagi, poof tetiba muncul masak lemak labu.
Like i said, senang tersentuh even the little things. Blame the hormones, no? HAHA.
Mengingatkan balik what he did when we were learning to know each other. Truth is, i can say that we really betul-betul bercinta selepas nikah. Sebab sebelum tu memasing poyo memalu control macho.pui! Tipu la kata cinta selepas nikah ni all rainbow and puffy white clouds. Of course ada ribut dia but Alhamdulillah, it was a test for us and we did it. Alhamdulillah.
Masa zaman kenkonon nak kenal-kenal tak kecoh kat orang that we are trying to lead to the next level, we went to Pulau Perhentian. Yang tahu we were in such relationship hanyalah kakak ku, and my two bff yang sama mengajar kat preschool aku tu.Nak jadi drama samarinda la katakan, aku yang memang suka travel tapi dah lama tak travel ni terlupa bawak the most essential thing yg aku tak pernah miss masa gi travel; sweater. Come on, sweater kot! Cover from sejuk malam, back up kalau tak cukup bantal, and banyak lah fungsi dia! Terbebel pasal aku tertinggal sweater when he was nearby then masa kitorang sedang tunggu bas ke Terengganu tuh. Well, upon hearing that, eh eh...smooth je dia tarik keluar one of his sweater and pinjam kan. Eh eh laaa ex-boyfriend i nih, tetiba masuk slot drama Korea pulak dahhh. Si Leesa dan Putri (the two bff teachers tuh) dah sengih-sengih tercover acah sweet dah. Rupanya memang encik Husband memang suka kumpul sweater, kebetulan dia hangkut dua helai for that trip pulak. Ada chance la nak acah sweet kat i time tu kan? *emoji tersipu malu*
So, even teringat kisah lama sebegitu pun bikin hati terharu tahap apa dah, lagi pulak simple gestures time-time sekarang ni yg lagi sensitif dari sediakala. Apa lagi hakak nak cakap, hanya syukur Alhamdulillah and semoga Allah pelihara keluarga hakak ni sambil cuba aim the highest level di Akhirat nanti, in sha Allah.

Okay. Pinggang dah menjerit perit oi. Baby D, hang bila nak keluaq sayang? Kita dah 39 weeks ni...ayah and bonda tak sabaq nak jumpa u, sayang. Be good, okay darling. Whatever it is, in sha Allah ayah & bonda will try our best for you.

Yang Sedang Sarat,
Farah Diana

Monday, September 25, 2017

Reasons

Assalamualaikum

Oh well, apologies for my dramas.
But hey, it adds colors to life, don't they? ehehehe.

One thing for sure, they shape me into who i am now.
Without the storm, how would i be able to see the beauty of the rainbow?
Err....even though those so called storm was actually my own tantrum...muahaha.

Dear Love,
Sometimes i get all cranky wanting your attention when you actually have given more than i deserve.
But most of the time, do know i fall for you even deeper every day.
Ask me why, I won't be able to answer that because its just came to me out of nowhere.
I guess, it is a blessing from Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Alhamdulillah.

Yang Deeply In Love,
Farah Diana

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Strong enough?

Assalamualaikum
Alrighty, I have a confession here.
I. Need. You!

But then, how could I have the heart to tell you that and then make u feel miserable because someone else needs you more than i do.
Of course I have no guts to tell u i just need u for no reason when u are struggling to keep things at pace with the person who brought u into this world?
No way am i going to let u choose.
For all she did to raise u, to be the person u are now, the person that caught my heart every each day, only a great person like her did that to u. And i am forever gonna thank her for moulding u into a person u are now, that i have the chance to share u my life with.
It breaks me that its like the whole world is helding me from rushing myself to your side, it seems that u are on their side too. Worrying me too much about travelling downsouth to just be by your side.
I had the idea that u would need me at hard times like this.
Or so i thought, which leads me thinking we do need each other.
But that moment when u said u'd be worried who will look after me if anything happens to me since u too will be occupied with things, u have no idea how crushed i was.
To know that i am not able to lend my shoulder when things get rough for u.
So then, i held myself back.
Yes.
I have drowned myself with my own emotions, not wanting u to know for im afraid u'll feel even more exhausted from all the pain u have to go through.
I dont know, i really dont, whether u can handle yourself there, or whether u need me there.
No, i really have no idea how to ask u that.
But to tell u that im the one who needs u, i dont know how. Because i love u too much that i dare not burden u with my selfish requests. 😢
I tried talking to others to soothe myself, to brush away those negative vibes. But unfortunately, i does not feel the same. They are not U!
Oh well, i guess i need to gear up my natural healing mechanism real fast before the negative vibes eat me up.

Yang Masih Cuba Bertenang,
Farah Diana.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Salah Sendiri

Dah sendiri bilang jangan risau, sendiri boleh jaga diri.
Orang tu hanya ikut pesanan lah gamaknya.
So, now, sendiri tanggunglah.

Just keep quiet and swallow it in.

Yang Stress,
Farah Diana

Thursday, August 17, 2017

the not so-long-distance relationship

Assalamualaikum
Gituh tajuk, bukan main kau.
Dengan dah lama bersawang tak menulis, tetiba tajuk posting bukan main feeling sangat kan.
Ok fine. Kasik chance please mek nak sekali sekala memunculkan mood mengetak papan kekunci ni, boleh?
Actually, I really have not much to write but I needed somewhere to express. Posting on Facebook would probably be the worse idea since I'm pretty sure there'd be remarks from all sorts of people, be it the good ones or the sarcasm ones or so. So does other social media. Pffft!
No way, these few months surely had me easily (well, memang ratu emo pun sebenarnya. pui!) affected emotionally.
Yes yes. Blame the hormones. Hehehee. (Alhamdulillah though. 29 weeks and am just about 2 months away for our new phase in life)
No joke, I'm more garang at school, I cry easily (err...usually related to dealing with dear husband. Kesiannnnn encik Suami tak masal kena tahan hati je lah ngadap isteri kuat berdrama walaupun salah dia sendiri. My bad, darling. Sorry! But thank you for putting up with me. Mwah sikit! >.< ps: sempat kau selit pesanan penaja bagai kan?!)
Well, to tell the truth (which both my husband and I agree on), we got married even we barely know each other. Bercinta lepas nikah kononnya ni. Awww.... drama Astro Oasis sangat. Feeling!! Kahkahkah.
So, there are times when we thought the other is one thing but it turned out its actually the other way round. Ha! Itu biasanya si ratu drama lah punya kerja kan. Suka nak assume simpan dalam lepas tu tadah tempayan nangis dalam selimut teresak esak. Haihhh. 
But, I guess, all those moments happened for a reason; for us to connect better with each other.
For the past 8 months plus, I guess I could say we're getting to know each other better and Alhamdulillah, I don't know what I did to deserve such a fine man in my life.
Being weekend couple was quite a journey but Alhamdulillah, the few bumps we had once in awhile is what keeping us stronger by day.
To the point when he actually said he wanted to spend the whole Saturday with me after declining a part time job as a crew that weekend since he has loads of assignments to be done, made me jump over the moon and smile from ear to ear and as if flowers and butterflies are flying around for the rest of the week. So, yeah, am anxiously waiting for the weekend to arrive. ^_^
OOOOOOOHKAY! I'm feeling goosebumps when I start being cheesy so I guess this is my cue.
Soooooo. Till then, love.

Yang Dilamun Cinta (OMG kudirasuk apa ni berkata sebegini nih sekarang ni oi? hahaha),
Farah Diana