This. Is. MY "Happy Jar".
What?
As i concluded 2016 as one of my toughest year so far, I had to have something to keep me sane this year and the years after. So, I came across posts on Facebook about this somewhat writing out a good thing happened in a day from day 1 and to be read end of the year. Well, i just started this and it already felt good having to take a few minutes of the day, before tucking in, to conclude the day with a positive highlight. It keeps me going. Alhamdulillah.
Well, the beginning of 2017 isn't that smooth anyways. But, HEY, at least, i am calmer i think.
A new phase in life. New challenges awaiting.
Had to juggle up with things, emotions and so much more.
But in sha Allah, i can pull these through.
So far, even though i missed a few days in that jar, but i am pretty sure most of the content revolves around Mr Husband. Angau sangat hang ni, Paghah!!
Sakit pun dari dia.
Tapi bahagia pun sebab Allah pinjamkan dia kat aku.
How could i not be grateful when He had given me such joy, when i, as His slave is filled with sins? Sayangnya Allah kat hamba Dia walaupun aku tahu betapa kerdilnya aku, betapa banyaknya kurang aku ni. Dia uji aku kaw kaw sebab aku dah kurang meratap agaknya. Ya Rabb.
Hasbunallah Wa Ni'mal Wakiil.
Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami dan Allah sebaik-baik Pelindung kami.
i can't write much more.
Truth is, i am not in a really good mind to blog. I might blurt nonsense (puih! macam selama ni kau serius, Paghah? Pang kang!)
But i want to mark something down.
I am always bad at verbal words.
U see me with words here but truth is when it comes to serious matter, i do have some issues expressing myself.
Yes, i admit it, it's hard to crack me.
Even to my own mother.
I could only cry and when i am asked to tell what's bothering, i'll end up still locking my mouth and after a warm hug, i'll appear back to myself and run back to my daily routine.
Complicated enough?
Yes.
I know.
Some might despise this kind of character.
But i am learning to express myself better, But it takes time.
My biggest mistake is i had built the wall too thick that even my own family had problems going through it.
I have always let myself appear all tough and bak kata orang, 'sado', when the real me is actually so vulnerable.
I tend to hold everything in. And someone just recently told me, (when i told her how my character is briefly), that THAT trait is the most dangerous one. Quiet but when things are too heavy, she is quite sure the explosion is going to be massive.
AND. THAT is why i tend to hold in, i isolate myself and let myself rationalize and i'll be back on track. In sha Allah. I have my ways, trust me. I'm a slowpoke, yeah, i know.
DAHHH! Sudah. kata cannot write much more tapi selamat dah khatam satu lagi perenggan. Hang bab melalut memang pakar, Paghah.
ps: To whom it may concern, andaikata awak jumpa blog ni, just don't let me know. By all means, u can "read" me here. Just, read "me" silently. Like what i am doing to "know" you.
Yang Sedang Cuba Bangkit,
Farah Diana.
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