Kaya?

Assalamualaikum

Satu je aku nak cakap.
Kalau pasal kaya miskin dan wang ringgit (dan "kisah silam tuuu"), jangan buat lawak pasal benda-benda tu dengan aku.
AKU la...dengan orang lain terpulang lah aku tak halang pun.
Tapi dengan AKU, lagi lagi lawak kenkonon tu mengkaitkan aku dengan harta dan status dunia tu, harap maaf, sumpah aku tak boleh bertolak ansur.
Minta maaf sensangat sebab memang seminggu emosi aku akan terganggu kalau "lawak" berkaitan benda benda yang aku sebut tadi dituju kat aku. (tambah tambah kalau tersilap timing. merasa lah)

And I have made it clear, i despise money as goal in life.
Susah nak faham bahawa duit tu bukan keutamaan aku?
Bukan sebab aku kaya (dont go there. lagi teruk aku ngamok nanti!!)
Sebab as far as i respect your battle, dont come and test me with mine. You had no idea how being in my shoes was and obviously i had no idea how in yours were too.
Nak aku cerita dah berapa lama aku tak shopping bebetul untuk diri aku?
Nak aku bukak cerita kenapa aku dah lama tahan diri dari travel jejauh walaupun passport aku masih valid lagi 3 tahun?
Nak kena announce ke saban hari aku perah otak pikir camne nak survive financially in today's crazy world?
Perlu aku war warkan kadang kadang tengah malam aku breakdown lap airmata macam hujan tetiba dan end up memujuk diri sendiri sebab aku kena kuat dan kena berdiri atas kaki sendiri?

TAK.
Sebab aku tau, orang lain pun ada masalah sendiri.
Orang lain pun ada struggle dia.
Orang lain pun ada emosi dia.
Tapi at one point, bila ada yang tak mampu faham common sense sebegitu terhadap aku, i cant help it but breakdown jugak.
But then again, being me, aku akan breakdown sorang diri dan pujuk diri sendiri.

Alhamdulillah, aku memang tak pernah rasa susah dari segi wang sejak kecik.
Bukan sebab keluarga aku kaya atau kerja aku hebat gaji kepuk kepuk.
Tapi sebab priority bukan wang ringgit, dan priority bukan wang ringgit tu bukan sebab senang nak dapat duit...tapi sebab there other things in life yang lebih utama buat aku (and my family in sha Allah)

Kau cuba hadap berita time bomb yang doktor kasi terhadap kakak kau.
Dan kau cuba hadap berita sebegitu berulang kali.
Rasa macam pasir kat tekak.
Tapi aku yakin Allah ada. Dan perancangan Dia adalah yang terbaik.

Aku mohon. Please. PLEASE jangan buat lawak pasal kaya miskin dengan aku.
Sensitif.


Sebabkan harta dunia, ada keluarga berpecah belah.
Sebabkan harta dunia, kawan boleh jadi lawan
Sebabkan harta dunia, AKU diperbodoh.
Ye, sebab aku memang bodoh.
Maka, maafkan lah aku.
Maafkan aku sebab memang susah untuk aku bina balik semangat yang runtuh akibat harta dunia ni.
Dan bila dalam masa beberapa saat je aku dilabel tak peduli harta sebab harta aku ni segunung, memang terima kasih sangat sebab semangat yang bertahun aku kumpul balik tu runtuh balik.

Yang Sedang Breakdown,
Farah Diana

When i grow up...

Assalamualaikum!

This month's theme at school is Occupation. And to top it off, i was a little bit out of track since we were busy with the concert too.
But as time moves, they are getting better at their roles (Alhamdulillah! Teacher is very proud of u!!) Hence, the practice usually completed by 10am and we could go back to learning routine after the break.
So today, teacher Paghah decided to sing "Dear _____, what do u want to be when you grow up?"
*just some random song i made them sing to make all of them tell what is his/her ambition*
One of them decided to become a rockstar.
One decided to become a mermaid 😂
Then suddenly, this girl who decided to become a rockstar changed her mind.
"Teacher! I changed my mind. I dont want to be a rockstar"
"Oh. So what do you want to be then?"
"I want to be a Bride!"

😒
..........

Tatau lah teacher Paghah nak gelak ke nak nangis. Jangan la nk caras cita cita teacher sangat, nak! Hadoi lah sayang.

Yang Gelihati,
Farah Diana

Lesson Learnt?

Assalamualaikum

Today, one of the girls opened her friend's bag to find a toy of her friend's.
Well, they are used to sharing so i dont mind that. But nevertheless, i still had to remind her not to open other people's bag without permission (because i told them many times not to do so).
Then suddenly, another girl interrupted,
"Remember the other day, when ******* took S****'s pony without permission, she had to sit at the corner alone. You do not want to do that, right?" She said to her friend that i was talking to.
So indeed, i realized they also learn from things i made their friends do for their misbehaviour.
So i guess, i have to think of more "cute & beautiful" "punishments" for them as i do not want them to feel terrified, i just want them to know and learn what is good and what is not. After aĺl, they are still in a journey of discovering life, how would they know what is right or wrong if not us; the adults, telling them so, no?  Thus, i do not wish them to learn the hard and painful way like i had to when i am an adult (hahahahha. #deep)
Let the good memories teach them how to live appropriately.

Yang Berkobar tapi macam nak demam,
Farah Diana

Breath in, Breath out.

Assalamualaikum.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home"

Ya Arhamar Rahimin.
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

Wake up, Farah.
Welcome to the real world.
You should've get used to multiple pressure at a time, shouldn't you?

Yang Super Stress (oooooh i really hate to use that S word but that's the only word best describe me at the moment),
Farah Diana.

Sambung belajar?

Assalamualaikum.

Oooh lala. Teacher Paghah's back!
As much as i want to upload photos of me with the little ones, i end up refraining myself from doing so. Entah. Takot kang apa-apa jadi aku jugak yang naya wey! Anak anak orang tuh wey!

So, last few weeks, a new kid was assigned into my class.
Jeng jeng jeng!
A special one indeed.
Handling him makes my heart screaming for some knowledge handling special kids.
They are...well...special! Buat aku rasa nak push harder untuk help them face the real world.

Unfortunately, i have none. I am totally frustrated with myself for not having any skills or knowledge of handling kids, let alone the special ones.

Maybe....

I said MAYBE....it's about time i revise my path ahead?
May Allah ease the journey.

ps: Nak sambung tapi research on WHAT to sambung tak bikin lagi. Lepas tu nk move on into new chapter pun satu hal tuh weh. Cari pasal ke apa aku ni?

Yang Sebenarnya Tengah Ngantok Sebab Penat Practice Concert,
Farah Diana.