Assalamualaikum
Yeah. Thought I'm all better by now?
I don't know. It's indeed a rollercoaster. Today's one of the bad days. I feel miserable to the bones.
To the extend, I turn to AI to help me cope with my feelings, to understand it, to rewind and rewire everything.
It is exhausting.
To feel hurt, but at the same time am blaming everything to my ownself.
To understand but ended up thrown deeper into the trauma or thoughts, I don't even know which is it now.
I felt super happy yesterday to be able to create cute, pretty little floral cupcakes for my nephew and my favorite doctor friend, but bila hadir insan yg kita belum kuat nak hadap, puji artwork kita....made me feel all awkward kind of feeling sebab kalau boleh I want to be left alone. My head is like super loud buzzing with so many thoughts of what ifs, why, how come, whatever, and God Knows how much more it is playing in my head.
Penat lah eh.
Aku rasa nak mencarut tapi dah tak reti sebenarnya nak mencarut sebab I'm a mother, and since I became a teacher, I refrain myself to do so. I don't feel it is a good thing to do anyways.
Ada tak any places that offer activities macam ala junkyard tu, that we can smash or just lempar whatever it is to just vent out our anger into that endless energy that keeps us awake for so many nights?
Yang Penat Tapi Mampos is not an option,
Farah Diana
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