Cantik!

Assalamualaikum.

Oh Alhamdulillah, segala gundah gulana drama hari raya sudah pun kembali tenang.
Eceh!
Eh eh eh! Ada geng 'blogger' zaman super rajin update blog tetiba melempar komen pulak dah. Dasar stalker tegar kau kannnn Adian! (tengok! kan aku dah link kan kau muahahahaha!)

Maka, kena cover line balik melempar bicara kat sini ye sebab ada jugak manusia dok singgah sekali sekala. Uhuk!

Okay.
Few weeks ago, i had a little breakdown which lead me back to reality.
I am not really good teaching kids to read.
It's so hard! I just havent got any clue HOW!
But Alhamdulillah, just recently seniors and bosses had given some guide on how to.
I've met some people who sees preschool teachers like "Blerghh! Ajar budak je!"
Well, It's okay. Maybe i myself had similar thoughts on other professions previously, which is i rarely do because i know everyone has their own battle in their field (except for those cari pasal tabur janji manis lepas tu dok dendiam assume aku jauhkan diri segala puii! TETTT!).
Try having at least 5 kids of the same age with 5 different characters, with unpredictable mood swings. HAHAHA! dont get me wrong, i am really enjoying having them as part of my life, as if they're really my own little angels. I dont mind the sweat, at least, maybe at least, doing this will be my share in the Akhirat, in sha Allah.
I love playing with them.
I love hearing them shout my name; "Teacher Farah!", running after me first thing in the morning when i arrive at school, giving me a hug.
I love it when i leave saying goodbye to them, some will return my greet with "Goodbye teacher Farah! I love you!"
I love teasing them too once in a while >.<
I love playing along during breaks where they pretend to be mommies and babies, baking cookies or pretend to dress up for a trip to Legoland!
Allah, when i receive a text in the morning saying "Salam teacher, XXX will not be going to school today, she/he's down with fever", it breaks my heart. But of course i have to pull myself back together cause the others need me too for that 4 hours at school, dont they? All i can do is to pray for their speedy recovery.
Lately, day by day, when the kids are getting more comfortable with teacher Paghah (Alhamdulillah!), they became more active and creative, where the teacher herself have to keep up with & keep updated with their behavior, not to let them go astray...
Sometimes, they do drive me up the walls! No joke, man! There are days when i felt like second thoughts, but Alhamdulillah, end of the day, i had to, and i love to, or willing to, pull myself back together. After all, they are KIDS, the need us to guide them through, dont they?

Which i always remind myself, whatever work i do, or job i have, or career i am on, i should always set the niat to be LillahiTaala. Let only and ONLY beautiful niat drive you through.
What ever is inside you, can be seen on the first page.
You are beautiful, if you are beautiful at heart.
errr.... which means....................yeah, i am not that beautiful cause maybe i have some grudge or maybe i did not let my guard down, moving on without the thought of reconcile peacefully, Allah, may He open my heart soon cause i STILL cant pull myself back on that. TETTTT again!kbai!

Oh! This morning, at the market, this one girl met this one lady while buying some eggs for her mom.
While waiting for the shopkeeper packing her tray of eggs, this lady came.
They both smiled at each other.
"Cantik!" the lady said.
The girl just nodded with a smile. Maybe she didnt really hear what the lady just said.
The lady smiled back, and asked the shopkeeper for her groceries.
Then she said again,
"Cantik! You manyak cantik! Ayoo... Melayu semua manyak cantik! Saya tak tipu oo! Saya tengok semua Melayu manyak cantik tau! Itu saya punya anak nanti dia balik Malaysia aaaa, saya mau kasi dia kawin sama perempuan Melayu!"
Then only the girl laughed and got what the lady was trying to tell her earlier.
"Eh tak ada lah aunty. You pun cantik lah. Melayu Cina India semua sama saja semua pun cantik maa"
The lady shook her finger and insist that Malay girls are beautiful.
"Saya cakap betui punya la amoi, Saya tengok Melayu semua manyak cantik ooo! Sebab ini dalam cantik, luar pun jadi cantik maa!" the lady said, with her hands showing the heart.
The girl smiled again and nodded , agreeing the lady's opinion.
"Ya la aunty, tapi bukan Melayu saja maa...Semua bangsa pun kalau itu dalam hati cantik, kita boleh tengok maa, automatik luar pun sama cantik juga kan!"and they both just laughed and bid farewell after they were done with their grocery shopping at the market.

True enough, no?
Point is, what is in YOU, makes you YOU.

Yang Sebenarnya Tidak Tahu Apa Point Entry Kali Ini,
Farah Diana.

Menelan Pasir

Assalamualaikum

Selamat Hari Raya semua!
Am enjoying the raya is it what i am told to do so after a month of fasting.

Luaran,
Hanya gelak tawa, senyum sedaya dimaniskan,
Hakikatnya,
Sedang memendam rasa.
Rasa risau
Takut
Sedih pun ada sikit.
Yang mana dikumpul dan disimpul menjadi sakit.
Sudah tak ketahuan kemana haluan nak diadudomba
Tak tahu dimana mahu diluah rasa.
Aku begini, hanya berniat untuk menjadi insan yang Allah redha
Ku tahan diri kerna kita tiada sebarang ikatan
Kalau diturut hati, barangkali hati orang tua tersentuh
Tapi
Aku sampai kini taktahu hati sana
Yang aku tahu hati sini saban hari memujuk diri

Sebarang usaha aku, tidak akan aku biarkan hati sana tahu
Sebab itu ikhtiar aku, mengirimkan sedaya kudrat melalui Sang Pencipta
Kerna aku percaya, Dia Lebih Tahu
Kerna hanya Dia tempat aku bergantung sehingga nyawaku di panggil kembali

Ya Allah,
Apa sekalipun yang mendatang
Aku berharap Kau bantulah aku menjaga hati ini
Kerna aku bukan sang nujum, yang mampu menebak isi hati sana
Aku hanya mampu cuba menjaga hubungan aku dan Kau agar kelak apa pun yang mendatang,
Hati ini tak seremuk kehilangan suatu masa dahulu


Yang Pasrah Menelan Pasir,
Farah Diana