Ratu Emosi

Assalamualaikum.
This photo was taken at Perhentian Island.
Uuuui! Random sangat kau kan Paghah?
Entahlah. Dah hujung-hujung tunggu masa si kecik ni meluncur keluar, makin nostalgic & emosi pulak. Tettt! pigidahhh! Kau memang ratu emosi kot, Paghah! kahkahkah!
Every little things people do surely akan lekat...cuma secara facade hakak buat muka kering jek.
Contoh time-time entah mana mulut tetiba sebut nak makan anything specific seperti burger ke, softserve cheesecake FamilyMart-yang-cari-gadoh-sedap-menyampah-aku-nak-lagi-dan-lagi or takoyaki Aeon yg mamat tu buat kerek ngan laki aku pastu kena balik ah dengan laki aku bila dia tersilap buat order tu, AND especially nasi goreng cili api, Encik Husband akan try his best to fulfill. Kadang tu siap bangun tidur dah terus tanya "Sayang ada rasa nak makan apa-apa tak harini?" Isteri mana tak cair oi?
Alhamdulillah, bukan encik Husband je, kakak ku and mummy pun sama.... Mummy lagi power, baru terfikir tak sebut lagi, poof tetiba muncul masak lemak labu.
Like i said, senang tersentuh even the little things. Blame the hormones, no? HAHA.
Mengingatkan balik what he did when we were learning to know each other. Truth is, i can say that we really betul-betul bercinta selepas nikah. Sebab sebelum tu memasing poyo memalu control macho.pui! Tipu la kata cinta selepas nikah ni all rainbow and puffy white clouds. Of course ada ribut dia but Alhamdulillah, it was a test for us and we did it. Alhamdulillah.
Masa zaman kenkonon nak kenal-kenal tak kecoh kat orang that we are trying to lead to the next level, we went to Pulau Perhentian. Yang tahu we were in such relationship hanyalah kakak ku, and my two bff yang sama mengajar kat preschool aku tu.Nak jadi drama samarinda la katakan, aku yang memang suka travel tapi dah lama tak travel ni terlupa bawak the most essential thing yg aku tak pernah miss masa gi travel; sweater. Come on, sweater kot! Cover from sejuk malam, back up kalau tak cukup bantal, and banyak lah fungsi dia! Terbebel pasal aku tertinggal sweater when he was nearby then masa kitorang sedang tunggu bas ke Terengganu tuh. Well, upon hearing that, eh eh...smooth je dia tarik keluar one of his sweater and pinjam kan. Eh eh laaa ex-boyfriend i nih, tetiba masuk slot drama Korea pulak dahhh. Si Leesa dan Putri (the two bff teachers tuh) dah sengih-sengih tercover acah sweet dah. Rupanya memang encik Husband memang suka kumpul sweater, kebetulan dia hangkut dua helai for that trip pulak. Ada chance la nak acah sweet kat i time tu kan? *emoji tersipu malu*
So, even teringat kisah lama sebegitu pun bikin hati terharu tahap apa dah, lagi pulak simple gestures time-time sekarang ni yg lagi sensitif dari sediakala. Apa lagi hakak nak cakap, hanya syukur Alhamdulillah and semoga Allah pelihara keluarga hakak ni sambil cuba aim the highest level di Akhirat nanti, in sha Allah.

Okay. Pinggang dah menjerit perit oi. Baby D, hang bila nak keluaq sayang? Kita dah 39 weeks ni...ayah and bonda tak sabaq nak jumpa u, sayang. Be good, okay darling. Whatever it is, in sha Allah ayah & bonda will try our best for you.

Yang Sedang Sarat,
Farah Diana

Stigma

Assalamualaikum.

Eh Memorning i today.
Bangga tak? *muka senyum sambil jeling roomate masih membuta. Kekeke.*

Recently, we just lost our dear granduncle due to cancer too.
He suffered around three months. I guess he was blessed because his final days went quite well for him.
As we never get the chance to feel how to have a grandfather, he was the closest we could get. Thank u, Tok Chik. Rest well. May Allah place u at the best spot in Jannah. Amiin.

So, then we had tahlil at his house. Of course we came across so many relatives that i bare know their names. HAHAHA. *told you i'm bad at names!*
But i do recall their faces though.
Upon leaving the majlis,
"Balik dulu." *salam*
"Okay. Where do you teach now?"
"Where? oooooh. The same place"
"You're an English teacher, kan?"
"Sort of. I teach all subjects"
*muka terkejut*
"I'm a preschool teacher"
*muka pelik pulak* "Pre....what?"
"Preschool. Kindergarten."
"Ouuuuh! Tadika. That's easyyyyy" *walks away*
PANG! Penampar hinggap dimuka sambil mulut ditonyoh cilipadi
ok part last tu hanya imaginasi liar penulis. Even though i'd rather ask her to come and be a preschool teacher for a day and THEN say it IS easy.

Tapi, apakan daya. Kiranya ku menjawab, alamat mek dilabel biadap. Habis, yg elder has the privilege to be rude then?
Sabar cik Paghah.
Don't let these negative vibes kill you.
Just one stigma will not vanish the thousands support and love you have been getting all around you.
And for that, I thank Allah and wish He would bless those people with great love and support all these while. Hanya Yang Satu Itu mampu balas jasa baik mereka. Amiin.

Penat kot kalau aku nak bebel pasal ni. Pasal betapa semua orang ada battle masing masing so stop judging.
Orang tu keje senang gaji besau.
Orang tu gaji besau so dia kena la OT selalu.
Dia tu anak Tan Sri, senang la nak masuk line.
NO. STOP IT ALREADY.
SEMUA orang ada struggle dia. unless u are in their shoes, dont ever assume their life is easy.
Memang, kerja aku senang. Tapi sebab aku suka kerja aku. so be it. But i know not all can commit like i do.
KALAU la aku ni kejar harta...hoi idok le mak nak jadi cikgu tadika nyah. Gaji kecik, bro. Pening banyak. Penat takyah cakap la walaupun half day load je hakikatnya.
Eh? Tadi kau kata taknak bebel. Pui!
Kbai.

PS: Ye, Farah Diana memang suka stop entry abruptly. Sebab telinga mek dah tangkap roomate dah nak bangun. Kang kantoi i tengah emo kahkahkah.

Yang Maintain Ratu Emo,
Farah Diana.

New Chapter

Assalamualaikum

Well, 2017 has been a whole new chapter definitely.
Look lah loooook, i can even blog more frequent. Ceh!
Maybe i'll blog frequently these coming three years, as to fill up my time whenever Mr Husband's not around. This is my plan to keep me sane. KAHKAHKAH!

Hence, i guess i'll find more topics so that i can write more later.
AND. So that i could brush up my language.
Dah ada pulak a dear friend asked me to coach her English, in return she coach me swimming. Err....more to make sure i swim or jog frequently actually.
So yes, I'll buy that.
I need to get fit.
I want to join runs again like the old days.
and can not lose to Mr Husband loh!
He leads fitness crew bagai, bini mandom. OH NO!
Malu mek ohkay!

So, kau tunggu sana RUNS and HIKING TRIPS (maybe?). Tunggu kau jap. Aku nak warm up balik ni!

Yang Berkobar-kobar,
Farah Diana.

Farah Diana's Happy Jar

Assalamualaikum.

This. Is. MY "Happy Jar".
What?
As i concluded 2016 as one of my toughest year so far, I had to have something to keep me sane this year and the years after. So, I came across posts on Facebook about this somewhat writing out a good thing happened in a day from day 1 and to be read end of the year. Well, i just started this and it already felt good having to take a few minutes of the day, before tucking in, to conclude the day with a positive highlight. It keeps me going. Alhamdulillah.
Well, the beginning of 2017 isn't that smooth anyways. But, HEY, at least, i am calmer i think.

A new phase in life. New challenges awaiting.
Had to juggle up with things, emotions and so much more.
But in sha Allah, i can pull these through.

So far, even though i missed a few days in that jar, but i am pretty sure most of the content revolves around Mr Husband. Angau sangat hang ni, Paghah!!

Sakit pun dari dia.
Tapi bahagia pun sebab Allah pinjamkan dia kat aku.
How could i not be grateful when He had given me such joy, when i, as His slave is filled with sins? Sayangnya Allah kat hamba Dia walaupun aku tahu betapa kerdilnya aku, betapa banyaknya kurang aku ni. Dia uji aku kaw kaw sebab aku dah kurang meratap agaknya. Ya Rabb.

Hasbunallah Wa Ni'mal Wakiil.
Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami dan Allah sebaik-baik Pelindung kami.

i can't write much more.
Truth is, i am not in a really good mind to blog. I might blurt nonsense (puih! macam selama ni kau serius, Paghah? Pang kang!)
But i want to mark something down.

I am always bad at verbal words.
U see me with words here but truth is when it comes to serious matter, i do have some issues expressing myself.
Yes, i admit it, it's hard to crack me.
Even to my own mother.
I could only cry and when i am asked to tell what's bothering, i'll end up still locking my mouth and after a warm hug, i'll appear back to myself and run back to my daily routine.
Complicated enough?
Yes.
I know.
Some might despise this kind of character.
But i am learning to express myself better, But it takes time.
My biggest mistake is i had built the wall too thick that even my own family had problems going through it.
I have always let myself appear all tough and bak kata orang, 'sado', when the real me is actually so vulnerable.
I tend to hold everything in. And someone just recently told me, (when i told her how my character is briefly), that THAT trait is the most dangerous one. Quiet but when things are too heavy, she is quite sure the explosion is going to be massive.
AND. THAT is why i tend to hold in, i isolate myself and let myself rationalize and i'll be back on track. In sha Allah. I have my ways, trust me. I'm a slowpoke, yeah, i know.

DAHHH! Sudah. kata cannot write much more tapi selamat dah khatam satu lagi perenggan. Hang bab melalut memang pakar, Paghah.

ps: To whom it may concern, andaikata awak jumpa blog ni, just don't let me know. By all means, u can "read" me here. Just, read "me" silently. Like what i am doing to "know" you.

Yang Sedang Cuba Bangkit,
Farah Diana.

Positive!

Assalamualaikum.

Dear blog.
Gituh. Tak masal la ni gaya nak main dear diary bagai kan. Pfft!
What's up?
Do people still blog anyways?
There's Instagram.
Twitter.
Facebook.
Apa lagi yang mek tatau.
Mek oldschool, kenal blogspot ni jah HAHAHAHA ok taklawak.
But oh well.
At least I know there will be always a spot where i can throw my thoughts and words randomly.
Especially those of i can't really say to anyone upfront or to face.
Point is, i have no idea why am i here at this hour. Well, to be frank, the night is still young anyways. Boo Hoo!

Am in a rebel mode right at this moment.
Locked the door.
Switched off the phone. Err....ok, did not switch the phone though.
Headphones on, full blast.
There is a reason why i have this self-healing character in me.
Gitoh! Feeling sangat self0healing.
But, yeah. I think i can claim that trait IS in me.
Things happen.
and i am not really the type who could easily express my frustrations that much.
I tend to hold it in. But I will BEBEL somewhere (or to someone if happens to have anyone around), but THAT really depends. Sometimes i jump into the silent mode. THAT, is dangerous. Because THAT means, I am on the verge of exploding.
Okay, i have promised myself to build positive vibes this 2017.
So, that is enough about what negative air surrounding me now.
Am just going to enjoy the music and try to sing them along and ....and...and recover myself quickly OR go to sleep ASAP.

FARAH DIANA, you ARE a strong girl.
Fight it! and LIVE! (as in "Leeeeev" peeps! Not "Layyyyyv" ye. Kbai)

Ps: Bobo, you know the atmosphere or emotion i am on when i speak too much English outside of my working hours. Yes, it means I am searching for peace or i am in need to neutralize the negative vibes. Wish me luck!

Yang Sedang Mencuba,
Farah Diana.

Goodbye 2016, Welcome 2017!

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah. Even though 2016 was a tough journey, I made it through.

Before i go into the above photo, I guess i just want to recap 2016. I dont know but i feel 2016 was far the toughest so far (well, we dont know what is coming but hopefully I can learn to pull it through from the 2016's experience, in sha Allah) And, im goin to shortlist into just Three (or four hehe) Big things that happened. Because i want to look forward. ^_^

1. Marked the 2nd year for me as a preschool teacher.
Well, gotta say it  was also quite stressful with lots of pressure though. But in the end, when you hear good things from parents or grandparents or friends, all those pain just went away. Of course i am so grateful towards, the Almighty, i know i wont survive this far if it wasn't for Him.

2. This number two.... is so hard for me to say.
We lost our dear sister. Very close to my big day. about a month or so.
Brain cancer. But we were pretty sure she have fought well.
When the doctor said she has 6 months (but he clearly said dont hold to that fact because that is just merely a prediction), she survived up to FOUR YEARS. Alhamdulillah.
Kak Lin, I miss you. So much! Al Fatihah. Kita jumpa di Jannah nanti ye, in sha Allah.

3. Another sister of mine had a major surgery. Much closer to the wedding date, diagnosed just a week before the day.
Allah je tahu betapa runtuh hati tengok the only sister left suffering major pain. Seeing the worries in Mummy's face. But being Farah, i know i cant collapse then. People might see me all strong and sado segala, tapi senyap-senyap aku lari pi kat adik-adik aku (teachers which i regard them as sisters from kindy) and breakdown sampai lebam mata. And also whatsapp bestie. Itu je aku mampu untuk pick up balik sisa semangat yang ada. Nak ngadu kat Encik Tunang then, i was still really selective to reveal my true self to people termasuklah beliau. Hanya orang tertentu sahaja (dan blog ini. duh!) yang aku open up. To others, I do set quite a high benchmark. Sorry. (Encik Tunang, errr...yang dah sah as Mr Husband, maafkan saya - if u ever find this blog HAHAHA - ye, saya memang camni. Suka main nyorok-nyorok perasaan hehe. But now I open up everything to you muah sikiiit! >.< )

4. As to cover up the tough journey, at least, the end of 2016 was summed up with Our Wedding, 10. Dec 2016. As the photo above. Alhamdulillah. It was one of the best things happened.

Dalam kesempatan ni, sambil-sambil hakak bikin open letter untuk my dear Mr Husband:

"Encik Mohd Firdaus,
Thank you for giving me chance to feel loved, and to love.
Thank you for accepting me despite all the flaws.
Thank you for letting me be Myself. At the same time, guide me to be a better wife and daughter.
Thank you for teaching me what is love and what is rindu.
Our journey has just begun and i know it wont be easy.
May Allah bless our marriage and let it last till Jannah.
I love you more and more everyday.
Even though we barely know each other yet, but i am learning to know you more (bercinta lepas nikah la katakan....hew hew hew)
And everytime i learn new thing about you, i fall even more in love with you.
AND, i become this cheesy girl, semakin jiwang ferum oksida bak kata zaman rempit dlu, but i just can't help it but to feel semakin cinta sama you. Ecewah!"

Before orang yang membaca blog ini muntah hijau (which i doubt anyone would come across this blog anyways), i think i shall hit the button already.
Oh yeah, because i need to solve the math equation Mr Husband gave earlier sebab dia kena study (dia baru selamat register sambung belajar, by the way) dan tak memasal soh hakak study jugak untuk dia. kihkihkih.

Alright, Till then.

Yang Penuh Rasa Cinta (gitohhh!),
Farah Diana.

Blog? Apa tu?

Assalamualaikum people.

It is amazing i still realize i have a blog.
And.
Still feel like writing.
Haha.

Well, do people still blog these days?
And do people even read blogs anyway?
Okay.
For those who still do (write), may i know why do u still doing it?
Just curious anyway.
Does people blog for the same reason as i do; to share thoughts regardless anyone reading & to simply throw some words for own future reference?
Hmmm.

Ok. This post seem to have so many questions and i doubt anyone ever bother to answer me hahahahha.
Oh well. I'll just continue writing whenever i feel like to. Not gonna bother anyone, no? 😊

Yang Penuh Persoalan,
Farah Diana.

Assalamualaikum.

Yahooo! Even though the my wash-off time is not that long after all, but at least i can say that im partly cured.
Gituh! Cured katakau! Macam dah kronik disease kann! Hahahaha
Memang ah kronik, bila emosi kau asyik tergugat je gara gara media sosial tu. Tak habis habis nak bikin assumption lepas tu sendiri gigit jari emo lapan tingkat.
Baiklah, sekurang kurangnya sekarang aku mampu kawal diri untuk tapis emosi sendiri. Gituh.
Tahniah, cik Paghah!  😂
I miss those days where resources were not on fingertips, thus the authenticity and the level of kepolosan of the informations can be trusted more.
Oh well, life goes on, though. i had to do what i had to do. So, be it.

Yang Fefeeling Accomplished,
Farah Diana.

Wash it Off!

Photocredits: Konah

Assalamualaikum.

Oh well.
Perhaps, i came to my sense where i am addicted to that social platform we call facebook, no?
To say it does not generate positive vibes thoughout these years would be unfair, though. But right at this moment, I somehow noticed that I have been badly influenced, and it is depleting my brain in rationalize things. Thus, good bye, Facebook! You'll be missed!
I really do have to undergo this "treatment", until i can calm down and put things in order professionally. And after I can differentiate what is real and not. AND after I repair my relationship with The One And Only.
Yes.
That's it.
Got it!
Really.
I have been astray for too long that my spiritual activities have been neglected for quite some time.
Shame on YOU, Farah!

There. Did I just made a confession?

Yes I did.

And I hope I am given the chance to put myself back on track. In Sha Allah.
Amiin

Yang Perlu Bertenang,
Farah Diana MH.

Alhamdulillah, give thanks to Allah ^_^

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.

Photo credit to: Fievelski.

Another milestone in life achieved.
errr. Well.... half a step I must say? HAHAHAHA.
Alhamdulillah, the ceremony went well.
Alhamdulillah, the weather was beautiful.
Alhamdulillah, i did not trip! HAHAHAHAHAOKAYTAKLAWAK.

Oh, no darlings, it was not my wedding though.
In sha Allah, soon.
Thank you Allah.
Thank you Mummy Abah.
Thank you adik beradiks.
Thank you aunties & uncles.
Thank you cousins.
Thank you friends.

Okay fine. Baru bertunang kau dah berucap macam dapat award bintang popular. Pui!!

Nevertheless, aku masih tetap nervous setiap kali nak text or nak call dia.
Normal ke atau aku sorang je yang ada habit macam ni?
Macam nak tergolek sensorang kat bilik fikir nak text tanya khabar ke tak, sampai kadang kadang emo. Tapi bila dengar suara dia atau terima text, terus hidup kembali ke bentuk asal like the drama did not just happened?

Ok. Sudah. Simpan sorang-sorang kisah perempuan saiko seperti itu ye cik Paghah.
Mohon kembali menulis perjalanan membentuk future leaders instead, Gittew!

Yang Masih Tetap Nervoustatausampaibila,
Farah Diana.

in a few days

Assalamualaikum.

My oh my. Berapa hari lagi nak cuti sekolah dah weh! Debor pulak debor wehhh...
Debar sebab cuti sekolah?
Kau dah kenapa?

Ok bai.

Yang Sedang Nervous,
Farah Diana

Down down down!

Assalamualaikum darlas!

Oh my dear. been two weeks on medical leave. Down with chicken pox uols!
Ha! Ye, dah tua bangka ni baru sibuk nak kena chicken pox. Sedih betul. Dah la bulan depan ada big event. Aduhai. Harapnya parut parut ni boleh recover by then, in sha Allah!

Last week agak kritikal, all i could do was lie down and sleep all day. Jemu bak hang! Cemuih orang kata! But what to do, seriously tak ada tenaga langsung nak buat apa. To top it of, nak makan pun tak lalu, dan sukar sebab ada gusi bengkak and ulser juga. Hambik, nak sangat diet nak kuruih konon........ dropped 4kgs in a week. T____T . jap. aku tatau nak happy ke nak sedih dah turun berat sbb turun kerana sakit. Aduih. Takpe lah, anggap kick start untuk project130 nanti ecehhh!

Baiklah, minggu depan kena start giatkan latihan utk project130.








Ok. Aku tatau apa motif aku click "New Post" kat blog nih. Satu satunya yang aku rasa sekarang ni adalah aku nak kembali ke sekolah sebab  I MISS MY WISE OWLS SO MUCH!!!! T____T
Kids, be good! Teacher Farah will be back soon, okay! Hugs & Kisses, darlings!!


Yang Rindu Anak Anak,
Farah Diana.

Cantik!

Assalamualaikum.

Oh Alhamdulillah, segala gundah gulana drama hari raya sudah pun kembali tenang.
Eceh!
Eh eh eh! Ada geng 'blogger' zaman super rajin update blog tetiba melempar komen pulak dah. Dasar stalker tegar kau kannnn Adian! (tengok! kan aku dah link kan kau muahahahaha!)

Maka, kena cover line balik melempar bicara kat sini ye sebab ada jugak manusia dok singgah sekali sekala. Uhuk!

Okay.
Few weeks ago, i had a little breakdown which lead me back to reality.
I am not really good teaching kids to read.
It's so hard! I just havent got any clue HOW!
But Alhamdulillah, just recently seniors and bosses had given some guide on how to.
I've met some people who sees preschool teachers like "Blerghh! Ajar budak je!"
Well, It's okay. Maybe i myself had similar thoughts on other professions previously, which is i rarely do because i know everyone has their own battle in their field (except for those cari pasal tabur janji manis lepas tu dok dendiam assume aku jauhkan diri segala puii! TETTT!).
Try having at least 5 kids of the same age with 5 different characters, with unpredictable mood swings. HAHAHA! dont get me wrong, i am really enjoying having them as part of my life, as if they're really my own little angels. I dont mind the sweat, at least, maybe at least, doing this will be my share in the Akhirat, in sha Allah.
I love playing with them.
I love hearing them shout my name; "Teacher Farah!", running after me first thing in the morning when i arrive at school, giving me a hug.
I love it when i leave saying goodbye to them, some will return my greet with "Goodbye teacher Farah! I love you!"
I love teasing them too once in a while >.<
I love playing along during breaks where they pretend to be mommies and babies, baking cookies or pretend to dress up for a trip to Legoland!
Allah, when i receive a text in the morning saying "Salam teacher, XXX will not be going to school today, she/he's down with fever", it breaks my heart. But of course i have to pull myself back together cause the others need me too for that 4 hours at school, dont they? All i can do is to pray for their speedy recovery.
Lately, day by day, when the kids are getting more comfortable with teacher Paghah (Alhamdulillah!), they became more active and creative, where the teacher herself have to keep up with & keep updated with their behavior, not to let them go astray...
Sometimes, they do drive me up the walls! No joke, man! There are days when i felt like second thoughts, but Alhamdulillah, end of the day, i had to, and i love to, or willing to, pull myself back together. After all, they are KIDS, the need us to guide them through, dont they?

Which i always remind myself, whatever work i do, or job i have, or career i am on, i should always set the niat to be LillahiTaala. Let only and ONLY beautiful niat drive you through.
What ever is inside you, can be seen on the first page.
You are beautiful, if you are beautiful at heart.
errr.... which means....................yeah, i am not that beautiful cause maybe i have some grudge or maybe i did not let my guard down, moving on without the thought of reconcile peacefully, Allah, may He open my heart soon cause i STILL cant pull myself back on that. TETTTT again!kbai!

Oh! This morning, at the market, this one girl met this one lady while buying some eggs for her mom.
While waiting for the shopkeeper packing her tray of eggs, this lady came.
They both smiled at each other.
"Cantik!" the lady said.
The girl just nodded with a smile. Maybe she didnt really hear what the lady just said.
The lady smiled back, and asked the shopkeeper for her groceries.
Then she said again,
"Cantik! You manyak cantik! Ayoo... Melayu semua manyak cantik! Saya tak tipu oo! Saya tengok semua Melayu manyak cantik tau! Itu saya punya anak nanti dia balik Malaysia aaaa, saya mau kasi dia kawin sama perempuan Melayu!"
Then only the girl laughed and got what the lady was trying to tell her earlier.
"Eh tak ada lah aunty. You pun cantik lah. Melayu Cina India semua sama saja semua pun cantik maa"
The lady shook her finger and insist that Malay girls are beautiful.
"Saya cakap betui punya la amoi, Saya tengok Melayu semua manyak cantik ooo! Sebab ini dalam cantik, luar pun jadi cantik maa!" the lady said, with her hands showing the heart.
The girl smiled again and nodded , agreeing the lady's opinion.
"Ya la aunty, tapi bukan Melayu saja maa...Semua bangsa pun kalau itu dalam hati cantik, kita boleh tengok maa, automatik luar pun sama cantik juga kan!"and they both just laughed and bid farewell after they were done with their grocery shopping at the market.

True enough, no?
Point is, what is in YOU, makes you YOU.

Yang Sebenarnya Tidak Tahu Apa Point Entry Kali Ini,
Farah Diana.

Menelan Pasir

Assalamualaikum

Selamat Hari Raya semua!
Am enjoying the raya is it what i am told to do so after a month of fasting.

Luaran,
Hanya gelak tawa, senyum sedaya dimaniskan,
Hakikatnya,
Sedang memendam rasa.
Rasa risau
Takut
Sedih pun ada sikit.
Yang mana dikumpul dan disimpul menjadi sakit.
Sudah tak ketahuan kemana haluan nak diadudomba
Tak tahu dimana mahu diluah rasa.
Aku begini, hanya berniat untuk menjadi insan yang Allah redha
Ku tahan diri kerna kita tiada sebarang ikatan
Kalau diturut hati, barangkali hati orang tua tersentuh
Tapi
Aku sampai kini taktahu hati sana
Yang aku tahu hati sini saban hari memujuk diri

Sebarang usaha aku, tidak akan aku biarkan hati sana tahu
Sebab itu ikhtiar aku, mengirimkan sedaya kudrat melalui Sang Pencipta
Kerna aku percaya, Dia Lebih Tahu
Kerna hanya Dia tempat aku bergantung sehingga nyawaku di panggil kembali

Ya Allah,
Apa sekalipun yang mendatang
Aku berharap Kau bantulah aku menjaga hati ini
Kerna aku bukan sang nujum, yang mampu menebak isi hati sana
Aku hanya mampu cuba menjaga hubungan aku dan Kau agar kelak apa pun yang mendatang,
Hati ini tak seremuk kehilangan suatu masa dahulu


Yang Pasrah Menelan Pasir,
Farah Diana

Bila nak level up cik Paghah?

Assalamualaikum

Sorry people, kemungkinan besar blog ni akan banyak dilambakkan dengan post emosi belaka sehingga lah aku benar benar move on kot.
Tak. Bukan putus cinta.
Serius.
Bukan putus cinta.
Sahabat karib aku akan tahu faktor yang boleh bikin Farah Diana breakdown sangat teruk.

Baiklah.
Walau macamana sekalipun, aku akan cuba singkirkan sikit demi sedikit faktor kakisan itu.
Bermula dengan burn away all related items.
Sebab aku baru sedar, bila masa aku duduk sorang mengemas apa yang patut kat kamar ni (tu dia, dok tak duduk kau guna istilah kamar. bajet klasik uols!), bila terserempak dengan barang atau dokument yang mengkaitkan "faktor" hitam tu, aku akan terduduk dan breakdown. Boleh menangis teruk kadang kadang (be informed, sejak "dibuang" - jangan tanya dibuang siapa or apa, kang aku ngamok serupa ghimau kang! - hati aku memang kering. Minta maaf pada yang berkenaan kalau ada terkena tempias hati kering aku. Untung kalau kau masih dalam radar treatment yang sopan dari aku. sekian! )

In sha Allah, moga episode itu menjadi pelantar yang menjadi pemangkin masa depan yang cemerlang, moga menjadi pencuci dosa kecil yang silam.
Walaupun kadang kadang tangan jari mulut ni lancang sahaja nak jerit segala yang dah terjadi, tapi barangkali Allah masih sayang aku, Dia kunci niat aku tu semua sebagai niat sahaja, supaya aku tak jadi manusia keji di dunia ini barangkali.

Wallahualam. Semua benda terjadi atas hikmah yang tersendiri.
Aku sendiri yang belum bukak mata betul betul lagi. Astaghfirullahalazim.


Yang Sesak Dada,
Farah Diana

Love me like you do

Assalamualaikum

Gituuuh! Tajuk nak bubuh lagu hit terkini kan kononnya.
Kalau ada tercampak kesini gara gara nak mencari lirik lagu tersebut, mek mohon maaf sesiap k.
Mwahahaha!

Tapi aku memang suka lagu tu.
Err... ada tapi lagi...kadang kadang fobia dengan lagu tu sebab hari tu aku melayan lagu tu macam nak rak (ye Bo, kau tahu kan aku suka melalak tak tentu pasal especially bila dok sorang kat bilik buat kerja drawings/update accounts). Al kisah, melalak sepenuh hati, feeling habis. Habis lagu, break skejap bagi laluan untuk Azan la pulak lepas tu.
Nak jadi drama kan, lepas azan, nak keluar suara dah tak boleh! Suara dah hilang langsung!! T___T
Dah satu hal pulak, dekat dekat nak sports day budak budak, hilang suara kannn! Jenuh jugak nak meligan anak anak time suara tak ada macam tu!
Dari situ lah, asal dengar lagu tu, tergedik jugak nak melalak seperti biasa (ehem. perasan suara merdu lah katakan. Padahal.......... ), tapi sure part chorus akan ada time time terbantut nak teruskan lontaran suara sebab takot suara hilang macam itu hari. Kahkahkah. Itu macam pun boleh jadi cerita kan kau Paghahhh!

Sudah! Nampak sangat update kali ni tak bermotif yang berguna sangat, ilmiah apatah lagi.
Sindrom excited nak berhujung minggu la katakan, pulak tu first time sambut Teacher's Day sebagai teacher tak berapa bertauliah ni, boss pun murah hati belanja cecuti Malaysia, ha inilah hasilnya!


To all teachers kiri kanan atas bawah depan belakang,
Happy Teacher's Day!
To my teachers throughout my life, thank you from the very bottom of my heart, for your hardwork & love & care in my journey of who i am now and then and tomorrow.
May Allah bless all of you always, Amiin!

Yang Tak Sabar Nak Short Vacay Tapi Malas Packing,
Farah Diana.

Mungkir Janji kah?

Assalamualaikum.

My oh my.
Bila lawan perasaan hati dan emosi ni, jangan duduk depan pc bersambung internet weh.
Tak pasal pasal tangan gatal klik website airlines.
Dan tak mustahil juga tangan bagai dirasuk menekan pembelian tiket ke destinasi sesedap oren tanpa mengira masa.
Tiket pergi je pulak tu, al maklum, tak berapa nak berduit sangat kan buat masa ini.
Ayo! Rasukan apakah ini???
Sempat ke nak kumpul dana melaksanakan misi ni? Walaupun jarak destinasi dan rumah tidaklah merentas lautan hindi sekalipun, tetap perlu ada perancangan ekonomi dan perjalanan. Tak ada rancangan perjalanan sekalipun, yang part fulus tu kena tiptop lah ye dok?

Dear oh dear.
Itulah, jangan diikut sangat perasaan hati tuh weh! Aduhai.......

Sekian.
Yang Berjiwa Kacau,
Farah Diana.

Wishlist review

Assalamualaikum BoBo! 

Dalam dok research info, tetiba tersinggah blog sendiri. Saja la scroll back previous posts, mengimbau kenangan dan mengimbau kenapa dan bagaimana aku blog dulukala.
Tetiba jugalah terjumpa wishlist yang di buat around 4 years back.

Apa kata, aku review balik wishlist ni? Then bolehlah update wishlist baru mwehehehehe!

1. Rollerskate (checked. And superb past time! Suka, sbb berpeluh sakan in style! Haha)  
yang ni takyoh la review ye dok? fully accomplished dah pun yeeeha!

2. Snorkeling
remember kisah sedih mabul freak out time snorkel ditambah sakit kuku nak tercabut itu? 
FINE! gonna tick this out of the list this weekend. Pulauuuuuuuu here i come!! 

3. Diving. 
Partly checked. Sebab sekadar Discovery Scuba Diving sejam dua sahaja. Sebenarnya aku sedikit takut kepada dasar air walaupun aku sangat suka berenang dan main air dan simbah air kat orang dan goyang pokok lepas hujan supaya orang sebelah kena tempias dan...fine, enough farah enough!
Alang alang last month ada event dari JPAM, kasi cuba DSD for free, aku pun cuba lah test power aku ni sebenarnya berani dak selam. Yeahhhhhu! Love it! Ada rezeki kalau, boleh amik license, In sha Allah. Ku bilang KALAU ye.

4. White water rafting 
Checked! With flying colors! SUKAAAAAAAA!! *refer here*

5. Explore gua (checked. Wang burmah time matriks dulu) 
Double checked! Sekaligus dengan white water rafting! *insert icon drooling sambil mata love love*

6. ATV. 
Checked secara sipu sipu. Sebab sekadar simple track kat Sunway Lagoon je. Kena find time & $$$ untuk try versi terjah hutan sampai ke kawasan Waterfall ni. lalalala

7. Roadtrip. Preferably on cruiser motorbike or superbike. (Tapi tak pernah reti pun bawak motor, apatah lagi yang ber cc tinggi itu) 
errr..... checked tapi not on bike seperti yang diidamkan. Roadtrip naik van dan kereta. Jadiiiii lahhhh....

8. Cruise. 
dengar dengar sekarang siap ada yang muslim cruise package kan? huyeayy! 

9. Build a family house. One should be enough. (Ada peluang, doa lah semoga diri ini kuat dan masih berkeupayaan dalam merekabentuk sebuah bangunan) 
design dah pernah ada. tapi Abah tak pernah approve lagi hahaha. oh well! Selagi hayat dikandung badan....

10. Mendirikan rumahtangga. 
err...errr...er...........

Ok sekian.
Nak bersiap menjemput abah di airport ni.
NO! Jangan tanya lagi point no sepuluh tu. no no no! Ada rezeki & jodoh, in sha Allah mek kabarkan ye hehehehehehe

Yang tengah rushing nak ke airport,
Farah Diana.

Bertabahlah!

Salam.

Nak menulis.

Dan ye, mood menulis suka datang di kala ketika sedang gigih nak menghadap drawing atau lain lain tugasan khas yang memerlukan perhatian yang teliti.

By the time selesai tugas, mood blogging dah lesap atau idea dah melayang.

FINE!

last last aku golek cam panda ni......... T_T

Sekian.

Yang Benar benar ting tong,

Farah Diana.

I.Wish.

Assalamualaikum.

Hello peeps! Oh well, the travelogue on India seem to be way out of date already, i think.
I shall remain it in the past, shall i? Malas dah mek nak recall the details. Maybe some of the days i'll throwback some doodles i made during the trip, no?

How is life treating you, dear love?
Having lots in mind is no joke, Bobo!
Be it happy thoughts, combined with those of heart-racing, heart-breaking seconds, they sure messing up the space. *haihh*

Whatever it is, i do hope i could hold on to what is dear to me.
Those painful past can now make their way into the black hole.
I'm giving & saving more space for new memories & experience.
Even though there are a few things more painful might surface, i'll leave that to Him as He Knows better.

I wish, that the future is brighter than yesterday.
I wish, that the storm will end with a rainbow.
I wish, that the rain will wash the pain away.
I wish, that there's no more sorrow.
I wish, that their smile and their worries fade away.
I wish, that her pain will subside and she is back into the way she used to be.
I wish, that all good things in the world, will be cherished by every single human alive.
I wish, there will never be pain in this world, just flowers & candy clouds!
In sha Allah. Amiin.