You're Awesome!

Assalamualaikum!

Struggle.
Every single day i had these butterflies in my tummy. Wondering will i be able to teach those little khalifahs?
Whether they get bored of my presentations?
Whether they look forward to learn new things at school every day?
Or whether this teacher is teaching things they already know well?

Yesterday, a girl from the class came to me when i was busy giving works to her friends.
"Teacher Farah..."
"Yes, Alveena?"
"Teacher, you're awesome!"
Terkedu sekejap. I thought i heard it wrong.
"Come again, sayang? What was it?"
"You're awesome, teacher Farah!"

Masha Allah, oh anak!
Setahu aku, nama je ada degree, tapi aku tak pernah tahu macam mana nak kenalkan dunia dan isi kandungannya kepada makhluk kecil yang suci, yang full of curiosity , like i was back then.
I know ABC, 123 & Alif Ba Ta, but how do i teach them to know those too?
Clueless. Jujurnya, this teacher memang agak blank.

But just with that simple words by a dear student, i felt like i really have to work harder for them.
Because the impact was just....speechless. Rasa nak terbang, rasa ringan dalam pada masa sama, rasa masih tak cukup effort dicurahkan untuk anak anak itu, puuuun mereka dah rasa awesome sangat.
Walaupun hakikatnya aku sedar, this teacher is very lacking of lots of things. still. Masih banyak yang teacher had to install inside otak teacher ni because this teacher was trained to design & build buildings but she refused to put her heart into it (or maybe she was too scared to handle it).
This teacher was lost in her path somehow.
But Alhamdulillah, Allah masih sayang agaknya. Diberi Nya cabaran baru.
It is as tough as other jobs i have done, sometimes i feel like it's even tougher.
But at the end of the day, ada satu rasa yang aku sendiri tak tahu nak khabarkan macam mana.

Tak. Aku tak rasa aku layak lagi terima "awesome!" dari sesiapa.
Mungkin takkan pernah.
Mungkin anak itu masih naif untuk menilai manusia yang lainnya,
But one thing for sure, i will try my best to deliver amanah baru ini.
Because we never know, how long we could hold on things in this world.
Ada mungkin aku tak bisa habiskan setahun penuh bersama anak anak itu.
Mungkin jugakah satu hari aku rasa lemau melayan kerenah mereka (so far, penat macam mana pun aku rasa hati aku all the time tenang melayan mereka. Alhamdulillah)?
Whatever it is, thank you Allah for giving me this opportunity. And thanks little angels, for teaching me the true meaning of life.
One day, you'll grow up into one fine lady & guy, maybe that day you might not remember who i was, but that's okay my dear sayangs. Even the thought of all of you that's going to shape the nation & ummah itself have made me very grateful. May Allah always protect all of you, in this world and the Hereafter. Amiin.

Learning to teach, teaching to learn

Assalamualaikum.

Ha. Dari dulu sampai sekarang, kau memang pegang kemas title ratu emosi tu kan?
Semalam, duduk sembang dengan Principal (oh. I've been keeping this low for about two months already, but hey, I am enjoying life now. So, here goes; am a kindy teacher now. Looking forward to be a good one though. Huuu. Masih rasa tak layak di panggil teacher lagi for now.)

"Farah, how are you feeling working here for almost two months already, Farah?" - P
"I am at some sort of peace, Teacher M*!" - F
"Really? Peace?" (looking sort of confused, add on background jeritan bebudak panggil Teacher Paghah masuk kelas balik -.-) -P
"Yes, Teacher M! Been struggling these few years, but i found peace even though i still struggle getting these kids' attention at class" - F
(Muka terkejut lagi) "Tell me about it!" - P
.....nak sembang lagi luah perasaan terbuku kononnya. Tapi seorang Wise Owls dah sampai ke pintu dan melalak: "Teacher Farah!! They dont want to share the colors!!"
Fine kids. Fine. Saja kan hangpa tak mau kasik chance teacher layan emosi sat! Its okay, sayangs, its okay, for all of you, teacher simpan emo tuh balik store and will be with you all the time, in sha Allah.

Penat? Oh memang! Dengan nak mengejar one special kid yang hyper (but Subahanallah, sangat bright, sangat cute toksah cakap lah) yang all over the school yang kadang kadang memang test patience to the top level and the other 10 (total kids in my class are 11), physically & mentally penat woi!
TAPI.
In the end of the day, ada satu kepuasan yang tak pernah aku dapat selama ni.
Like what i told the Principal, ketenangan.

Okay. I need to pen off now.
Online nak cari bahan kononnya, tapi sebab ...ehem... biasa lah, bila emosi beraksi gittew.... terdampar lah mek disini seketika.
In sha Allah, akan throw more words here in the future sharing my experience and journey.

p/s: Emo mode konon. sekali dapat satu call je, terus cair. okbai.

I.Wish.

Assalamualaikum.

Hello peeps! Oh well, the travelogue on India seem to be way out of date already, i think.
I shall remain it in the past, shall i? Malas dah mek nak recall the details. Maybe some of the days i'll throwback some doodles i made during the trip, no?

How is life treating you, dear love?
Having lots in mind is no joke, Bobo!
Be it happy thoughts, combined with those of heart-racing, heart-breaking seconds, they sure messing up the space. *haihh*

Whatever it is, i do hope i could hold on to what is dear to me.
Those painful past can now make their way into the black hole.
I'm giving & saving more space for new memories & experience.
Even though there are a few things more painful might surface, i'll leave that to Him as He Knows better.

I wish, that the future is brighter than yesterday.
I wish, that the storm will end with a rainbow.
I wish, that the rain will wash the pain away.
I wish, that there's no more sorrow.
I wish, that their smile and their worries fade away.
I wish, that her pain will subside and she is back into the way she used to be.
I wish, that all good things in the world, will be cherished by every single human alive.
I wish, there will never be pain in this world, just flowers & candy clouds!
In sha Allah. Amiin.

Fobia!

Assalamualaikum peeps!

Well. Have you ever faced any event that pulled you deep down that you hardly pull yourself back up?
Where the impact was you cant even see the shadow of anything related to the said event?
You've tried hard enough to move on, let it all go, let it be bygone, but even a mere presence of the said event can ruin your day just like that, have you?
You're the type not holding grudge for long, but you seemed so different this time around?
To the extend that you cant even come across even a slight view of it?

But then again, you gotta go through the storm to catch that rainbow, dont you think so?

Sorry dear, you've just been disconnected.
If i shut off, dont bother peeking,
Save your time with not even try to say hi cause what you will get is just a blank stare.
Let the beautiful moments be in the past, those painful encounters be washed away through time, as long as you stay out of my sight, because i'd rather cherish the previous precious moments from afar.
Thanks for the past, i'll just let go of the pain, in sha Allah.
But dont ever appear again, i beg, just so that the good memories can remain on the surface.

Regards,
Ratu Emosi >.<

Kisah Jalanan India - Day 5: Agra

Assalamualaikum Bobo! Rindu cik Paghah dak? 

Memandangkan memang setahun dah peram travelogue dalam otak semata-mata, maka memori sudah semakin karat. 

Tapi! Untung Catatan daerah seterusnya selepas Varanasi sangat kemas dalam ingatan, barangkali sebab Taj Mahal is one of my wishlist. 

Dalam episod kisah Jalanan India aku yang lepas, perjalanan dari Kolkata ke Varanasi kan ku bilang lama.

Or. So. I. Thought! T_T

Selepas salam perpisahan dengan Avi di train station Varanasi (Thanks Avi. you are such a great host, darling!), kami meneruskan perjuangan ke daerah seterusnya, Agra. 

Mulanya, kami nak bermalam di Agra dan gerak ke Jaipur the next day. Tapi atas saranan sahabat online, rata rata kata di Agra hanya ada Taj Mahal je pun, rugi je duduk bermalam situ sebab not really much to see there, maka kami beli tiket dari Agra ke Jaipur petang tu jugak.

Jeng jeng jeng. Nak jadi cerita laju sikit, train ke Agra tuh punyaaaaaaa lah lama, lagi lama dari yang ku sangkakan api itu kelip kelip. eh. yang mek konon rasa Kolkata-Varanasi dah cukup kematu, Varanasi-Agra lebih lagi keras kami. 18 jam hambek kau!! Sampaikan lari dah schedule kami. 

Silap haribulan jugak kami atur perjalanan singgah di Taj Mahal di hujung minggu, memang manusia macam semut!! Stress mek okeh!

Dek kerna kekangan masa, langkah diatur secara amat laju. 

Beli tiket (nasib baik tourist, walaupun tiket sangat lah terlebih mahal, tapi tak perlu queue sepanjang alam itu!) dan bergegas masuk. Dan nak masuk tu, ada security check, siap ada scanner tuh ok! Ada pulak bahan tak diizinkan dalam beg mek dan Ar. Time ni rasa nak bukak silat je sebab dah sah sah masa terhad, dah tak pasal pasal kena cari locker pulak. Guess what, the locker was about a few BLOCKS away!! *muzik sedih berkumandang*

Nak tak nak, kami pun BERLARI ke untuk simpan barang-barang berkenaan. Terbazir sedikit masa disitu. 

Sudah mek bilang, manusia kan ramai di Taj Mahal di hari kami disitu, maka, nak dapatkan shot yang best pun agak nasib lah juga. Dengan team kami terpisah sat sebab ada yg kelam kabut cari toilet, yang kelam kabut ligan pi simpan bag nya, dan sebab waktu dah agak suntuk, kami masing masing posing secara individu or sekerat sekerat. 

Ha! Nak masuk ke dalam kawasan makam tu, sila lah sarungkan kasut korang dengan sarung putih yang dah diberi tu. One thing i like about their building there (tak kira la makam ke kuil ke ghat ke), mereka ni amat control kebersihan, walaupun hakikatnya di luar di jalanan segala sampah dan debu sangat bersepah tanpa mengira masa dan usia. Eh?

Selesai melawat mentawaf mengkagum menyanyi menggolek lagu Hindustan keliling Taj Mahal ni, yang tak la lama mana sangat tu dek kerana nak mengejar train ke Jaipur pula, kami pun bergegas kembali ke station. Tapi harus on the way kami singgah cari souvenir. Pada pendapat jujur aku, souvenir kat Agra ni macam erm....... maybe sebab dah congested with tourist punya label bagai, maka harga pun hmmm. Dan kualiti pun ala kadar je. Unless kau nak mencari yg replika Taj Mahal, itu wajar kau cari disini. But please pandai-pandai la nilai dan belek dahulu okay, kang diketuk tak pasal kau saman aku, memang mek tak layan. EH lagi? As usual, di India, kat ceruk mana sekalipun, sila tawar kaw kaw, tapi hagak-hagak la, jangan la sampai menganiaya depa na, itu periuk nasik depa. 

Nampak tak aku dah habis idea nak tulis apa tentang Day 5 ni? 

Ye.

Mek ulang, memang singkat sangat duration kitorang di Agra ni. Touch N Go katanya.

Maka, See uols at Day 6 di Jaipur ok uols! ^_^

Till then! ^^