Almost Three Years Later...

Assalamualaikum
Oh yes, i have no idea tetiba terdetik nak belek blog.
Ada lagi ke manusia yg layan blog weh?  Orang layan Instagram, TikTok, apa lagi maknenek tu semua lah.  Review pun orang belek ig and facebook. Hhahaha.
Sebab TU lah seketul Paghah terasa nak menulis malam ni. Alang alang the girls tidur awal nih. *lompat bintang*
Ok.
Quick update (pick up dari last post).
So Alhamdulillah, the baby safely delivered on 2 Nov 2017 via emergency Czer.
And on 19 May 2020, just delivered another girl via emergency Czer juga.
Pengalaman bertarung beranak ni nanti la sis cerita kalau mendapat hidayah membelek blog some other time ye.
I guess, i wanted to revisit this humble space is because i just want to blurt out or simpan kenangan dan dalam masa yg sama, tak berapa nak orang baca (especially orang2 yg ku kenal hahahah weirdo!)
Ha yes.
Motif utama yg mendetik (is there such word? Oh maiii...) blogging mood adalah nk mencoret life journey and my insights.
Alhamdulillah, sis is terharu sebab semakin hari, sis makin kenal hati budi encik Husband, sis makin rasa ya Rabbi, layak ke aku ni jadi isteri dia?
But yes, syukur... This year is our fourth year together. Ada je ribut taufan tapi syukur Allah selalu pelihara hubungan kami.
Cuma sekarang, sis tak putus doa supaya Allah beri jalan untuk kami duduk sebumbung.
Long distance relationship is no joke, bro.
Mental koyak jangan cakap la, banyak kali weh walaupun sis duduk serba lengkap dengan mummy dan abah sendiri. Ada kakak yg menjadi makngah kepada my two girls. Memang blessed teramat, Alhamdulillah.
But ada time time dia.... Fuhhh. Nangis tepi bucu katil, bro.
Sampai tahap, bila flight husband retime lebih awal dari schedule, sis boleh spontaneously bikin drama Samarinda berayaq mata bagai.
Yes. Sis ni bila husband around, dia punya clingy lain macam. Dengan anak melekat kat ayah dia manjang pun boleh bikin cemburu hey!
Amazingly, encik husband ni memang sejenis pandai pujuk. Eh. Jap.
Entah la. Tak la pandai pujuk sangat pun, but he has his own ways to handle the dramas; be it from his first born, mahupun his drama queen wifey ini.
Bila sis bebel tak puas hati SOP kat tadika or bos2 punya plan tak kena dengan akal sis, dia back up sis tapi dalam masa sama dia akan bidas and rationalise yg akan bikin sis view things the other way round. Tu yg sis kagum tuh.
If u know me, u will know I'm the type yg kuat berdebat and defensive towards my own opinion. Tapi dia ni,  fuh. Dia boleh tone me down into logics and rational, yg sis rasa memang sis tak leh beralasan dah.
But of course,  most of the time i will still be Paghah hahahha. He knew that too... Memang dia jelas faham seketul paghahdiana ini memang tangkas bikin alasan kahkahkah.
Anywayyyyy....
Thank u encik Husband for putting up with my antiques and for being YOU!
Love you

Ps: fuh. Penutuo karangan secara drastic sebab sis ngantuk pulak. Satni kang si adik masuk shift owl dia nayaaaa ibu ini menyesal tak tdoq time the princess sedang enak dibuai mimpi.

Yang Dah Mengantuk,
Farah Diana

Ratu Emosi

Assalamualaikum.
This photo was taken at Perhentian Island.
Uuuui! Random sangat kau kan Paghah?
Entahlah. Dah hujung-hujung tunggu masa si kecik ni meluncur keluar, makin nostalgic & emosi pulak. Tettt! pigidahhh! Kau memang ratu emosi kot, Paghah! kahkahkah!
Every little things people do surely akan lekat...cuma secara facade hakak buat muka kering jek.
Contoh time-time entah mana mulut tetiba sebut nak makan anything specific seperti burger ke, softserve cheesecake FamilyMart-yang-cari-gadoh-sedap-menyampah-aku-nak-lagi-dan-lagi or takoyaki Aeon yg mamat tu buat kerek ngan laki aku pastu kena balik ah dengan laki aku bila dia tersilap buat order tu, AND especially nasi goreng cili api, Encik Husband akan try his best to fulfill. Kadang tu siap bangun tidur dah terus tanya "Sayang ada rasa nak makan apa-apa tak harini?" Isteri mana tak cair oi?
Alhamdulillah, bukan encik Husband je, kakak ku and mummy pun sama.... Mummy lagi power, baru terfikir tak sebut lagi, poof tetiba muncul masak lemak labu.
Like i said, senang tersentuh even the little things. Blame the hormones, no? HAHA.
Mengingatkan balik what he did when we were learning to know each other. Truth is, i can say that we really betul-betul bercinta selepas nikah. Sebab sebelum tu memasing poyo memalu control macho.pui! Tipu la kata cinta selepas nikah ni all rainbow and puffy white clouds. Of course ada ribut dia but Alhamdulillah, it was a test for us and we did it. Alhamdulillah.
Masa zaman kenkonon nak kenal-kenal tak kecoh kat orang that we are trying to lead to the next level, we went to Pulau Perhentian. Yang tahu we were in such relationship hanyalah kakak ku, and my two bff yang sama mengajar kat preschool aku tu.Nak jadi drama samarinda la katakan, aku yang memang suka travel tapi dah lama tak travel ni terlupa bawak the most essential thing yg aku tak pernah miss masa gi travel; sweater. Come on, sweater kot! Cover from sejuk malam, back up kalau tak cukup bantal, and banyak lah fungsi dia! Terbebel pasal aku tertinggal sweater when he was nearby then masa kitorang sedang tunggu bas ke Terengganu tuh. Well, upon hearing that, eh eh...smooth je dia tarik keluar one of his sweater and pinjam kan. Eh eh laaa ex-boyfriend i nih, tetiba masuk slot drama Korea pulak dahhh. Si Leesa dan Putri (the two bff teachers tuh) dah sengih-sengih tercover acah sweet dah. Rupanya memang encik Husband memang suka kumpul sweater, kebetulan dia hangkut dua helai for that trip pulak. Ada chance la nak acah sweet kat i time tu kan? *emoji tersipu malu*
So, even teringat kisah lama sebegitu pun bikin hati terharu tahap apa dah, lagi pulak simple gestures time-time sekarang ni yg lagi sensitif dari sediakala. Apa lagi hakak nak cakap, hanya syukur Alhamdulillah and semoga Allah pelihara keluarga hakak ni sambil cuba aim the highest level di Akhirat nanti, in sha Allah.

Okay. Pinggang dah menjerit perit oi. Baby D, hang bila nak keluaq sayang? Kita dah 39 weeks ni...ayah and bonda tak sabaq nak jumpa u, sayang. Be good, okay darling. Whatever it is, in sha Allah ayah & bonda will try our best for you.

Yang Sedang Sarat,
Farah Diana

Reasons

Assalamualaikum

Oh well, apologies for my dramas.
But hey, it adds colors to life, don't they? ehehehe.

One thing for sure, they shape me into who i am now.
Without the storm, how would i be able to see the beauty of the rainbow?
Err....even though those so called storm was actually my own tantrum...muahaha.

Dear Love,
Sometimes i get all cranky wanting your attention when you actually have given more than i deserve.
But most of the time, do know i fall for you even deeper every day.
Ask me why, I won't be able to answer that because its just came to me out of nowhere.
I guess, it is a blessing from Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Alhamdulillah.

Yang Deeply In Love,
Farah Diana

Strong enough?

Assalamualaikum
Alrighty, I have a confession here.
I. Need. You!

But then, how could I have the heart to tell you that and then make u feel miserable because someone else needs you more than i do.
Of course I have no guts to tell u i just need u for no reason when u are struggling to keep things at pace with the person who brought u into this world?
No way am i going to let u choose.
For all she did to raise u, to be the person u are now, the person that caught my heart every each day, only a great person like her did that to u. And i am forever gonna thank her for moulding u into a person u are now, that i have the chance to share u my life with.
It breaks me that its like the whole world is helding me from rushing myself to your side, it seems that u are on their side too. Worrying me too much about travelling downsouth to just be by your side.
I had the idea that u would need me at hard times like this.
Or so i thought, which leads me thinking we do need each other.
But that moment when u said u'd be worried who will look after me if anything happens to me since u too will be occupied with things, u have no idea how crushed i was.
To know that i am not able to lend my shoulder when things get rough for u.
So then, i held myself back.
Yes.
I have drowned myself with my own emotions, not wanting u to know for im afraid u'll feel even more exhausted from all the pain u have to go through.
I dont know, i really dont, whether u can handle yourself there, or whether u need me there.
No, i really have no idea how to ask u that.
But to tell u that im the one who needs u, i dont know how. Because i love u too much that i dare not burden u with my selfish requests. 😢
I tried talking to others to soothe myself, to brush away those negative vibes. But unfortunately, i does not feel the same. They are not U!
Oh well, i guess i need to gear up my natural healing mechanism real fast before the negative vibes eat me up.

Yang Masih Cuba Bertenang,
Farah Diana.

Salah Sendiri

Dah sendiri bilang jangan risau, sendiri boleh jaga diri.
Orang tu hanya ikut pesanan lah gamaknya.
So, now, sendiri tanggunglah.

Just keep quiet and swallow it in.

Yang Stress,
Farah Diana